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Obama To Read All Briefings From Top Secret Sleeping Bag

US President Barack Obama will read all Government briefings from a high-tech goose down sleeping bag, starting next month.

The new measures – designed to outwit foreign spies – were announced today by security spokesman Ronald Taylor. It will complement his security tent. “Whenever the President needs to read a classified document, he’ll just duck into the sleeping bag. In fact he’ll probably spend most of his time in there; it’s very cosy,” Mr Taylor said.

Named Sleeping Bag 1, the device has full zip-around technology, is lightweight and very warm – ideal for the approaching northern winter.

Is that Obama?

Is that Obama?

The President said he has been trialling the bag over the past few weeks. “I just love it. It’s just so cosy and safe. And it’s versatile too. If I’m taking a walk and I need to read a document at short notice, I can just set up on a park bench and no-one’s the wiser”.

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