Follow The Shovel

CLOSE
Fading Genius: Warne Can No Longer Squeeze His Face Into A Glass
(image from news.com.au)

The man who could once bowl a batsman through his legs and turn a ball three feet on a flat wicket can no longer fit his face in a tall-glass, it has been revealed.

In a sign of his fading powers – which may explain his recent retirement from all forms of cricket – Shane Warne tried on multiple occasions to entice his head into a glass during the recent race meet at Royal Ascot. Each time he failed.

Shane warne humour

“His frustration was palpable,” said one commentator. “He’s probably the most talented person in Australia, ever. So this is a sad day. It just shows that, no matter who you are, no matter how gifted you are, we all get old. We all lose the ability to do the things that we once found straightforward. Even prodigies like Shane”.

Ron from Sydney was less diplomatic. “This country’s going down the gurgler. We’ve got massive debt, unemployment’s out of control, the Government’s a farce. And now Shane Warne can’t fit his head into a bloody drinking glass. God help us”.

Mr Warne was unavailable for comment.

Want more? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter


SHARE THIS STORY
Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Close

Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!