Follow The Shovel

CLOSE
Rupert Murdoch Updates His Online Dating Profile

Newly single and with a spring in his step, media mogul Rupert Murdoch was back on the prowl this morning, with a brand new profile on dating site eHarmony.

In the profile, Mr Murdoch describes himself as a ‘regular guy’ with simple interests. “On the weekends I generally just pop out to buy a paper,” he says.

Under the ‘Interests’ section, Murdoch lists “Herald & Weekly Times, The Times (London), Fox News Network, Wall Street Journal … see attachment for full list”.

He lists his hobbies as “watching TV, sailing, marriages and trying to determine the outcome of elections”.

At the bottom of the profile, Mr Murdoch asks interested parties to “just leave a message on your own voicemail and I’ll make sure I listen to it”.

The profile also stipulates that the successful candidate will get the first five conversations with Rupert free of charge each month. After that she will need to pay a monthly fee for unlimited access.

Mr Murdoch insists the photo he used in the profile was taken “just last year”.

Want more satire? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.


SHARE THIS STORY
Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Close

Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!