Follow The Shovel

Tony Abbott Gets His Homophobia Removed In “Routine Procedure”

The doctor who removed Opposition Leader Tony Abbott’s homophobia last week said the procedure was delicate but low risk, “a bit like getting your tonsils taken out”.

Dr Whetlend of the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital said the operation, which is performed under general anaesthetic, generally has very few complications.  “The great thing about this procedure is the immediate effect it has on patients. One moment they’re talking about how afraid they are of gays, the next minute they’re practically mincing down Oxford Street shopping for loft apartments and Kylie Minogue DVDs”.

The operation is one of a range of procedures that Mr Abbott has undergone as part of an ‘extreme makeover’. Last year he had his Softer Side enlarged, his views of women were reconstructed and he got a pair of fake policies. Since January he has been using an ointment to stop outbreaks of negativity.

Want even more satire? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram