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PM David Cameron asks the US to invade London “so we can test out all our new Olympic security arsenal”

With the Games now over and all Olympic security threats successfully avoided, British Prime Minster David Cameron wondered aloud yesterday what on earth London would do with all the anti-aircraft missiles, helicopters and army personnel that have been assembled in recent weeks to keep the city safe.

“Could we pack it all away and put it in a big shed on the outskirts of Liverpool? Of course we could. But that wouldn’t be much fun would it? We’ve had our boys sitting atop council estate buildings and hiding behind Tesco shelves for two weeks, just itching to shoot something down. It’s only fair we ‘let them off the lead for a bit’ to coin a phrase”.

Cameron confirmed he had spoken to US President Barack Obama. Mr Cameron said “We know they (the US) have got loads of kit that they never use. So we’ve suggested having a bit of a rough and tumble of a Sunday afternoon, just for a bit of fun. They’ll invade London in the morning, we’ll see how many planes and choppers we can shoot down, and then we’ll all muck in to help clean up in the afternoon. We had a similar fete day at Eton once, except of course we did it all on horseback”.

When asked if he would consider the proposal, Mr Obama said “If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress”. Although it’s not clear how this related to the question.

Republican candidate Mitt Romney confirmed he had heard of London.

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