April 30, 2015

Apple Watch Only Works If You Have ‘Consumer Slave’ Tattooed On Your Forehead

Early adopters of Apple’s new watch have found that the device only works for those who have a tattoo on

April 28, 2015

Human Life Now Entirely Taken Up With Checking Things

Humans now have something to do in the dead time between checking their phones and checking their iPad

April 7, 2015

People Who Illegally Downloaded ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ Forced To Watch Matthew McConaughey Rom-Coms On Continuous Loop

Australian internet users who illegally downloaded Oscar winning movie Dallas Buyers Club will be forced to watch How To Lose

April 2, 2015

Google Launches Funky New Tax Avoidance Lab

Tech giant Google today welcomed staff to a futuristic new workspace on Sydney’s Darling Harbour that will become a hub

March 19, 2015

Man Who Powers Microsoft’s Internet Explorer To Retire After 20 Year’s Service

Ed Cornigen will wake up at 4:08am on Friday morning, as he’s done for the past 20 years, to wind

November 17, 2014

Self Checkout Machine Can Do Work Of 6 Totally Useless Humans: Study

Self checkout machines, now popular in supermarkets and stores throughout the country, have the same output as six utterly incompetent

October 16, 2014

Microsoft Word Spellcheck Not About To Just Let You Change From U.S. Spelling

The Microsoft Word Language Function admitted today that, while it knows you changed the language from US English to Australian

October 14, 2014

Fax Machines Are Our Future, Says Abbott

Prime Minister Tony Abbott today opened a new fax machine factory in Melbourne’s west, saying the telecommunications devices were ‘friends

September 24, 2014

ASIO To Watch While You Have Sex

An ASIO agent will be discreetly stationed behind a curtain when you have sex tonight, Attorney-General George Brandis revealed today

September 19, 2014

Siri Replaced By Bono

Users of Apple’s new iPhone were today surprised to find the well-known personal assistant, Siri, had been replaced by an

July 9, 2014

Friends Spend All Night Perfecting Selfie, As Memento Of Amazing Night

Saying “One more, one more!” a group of Sydney friends spent Saturday night getting that perfect shot, so they could

May 5, 2014

42 Year-Old Man Still Living With His Mum To Spend Today Courageously Berating People Online

Using the avatar HardntheF-up23, 42 year-old unemployed man Peter Broomfield will log on to his computer this morning to bravely

April 9, 2014

Google+ Still Going, Researchers Claim

A small community of Google+ users has been discovered in northern California, years after they were assumed to have died

January 29, 2014

New ‘Tech Bra’ Only Unhooks When Man Has Taken Bins Out

In a long-awaited fusion between hot-blooded hormones and cold, hard practicality, a new bra designed by Australian scientists will only

January 13, 2014

US Private Equity Firm Buys Last Remaining Piece Of 1997

US firm Platinum Equity this morning bought Australia’s ‘Yellow and White Pages’ for a reported $454 million. It is believed