All posts tagged "humour"
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Doubts Cast Over Seriousness Of Coronavirus, After Only 97% Of Scientists Claim It Is Real
A growing number of politicians and commentators have questioned the need to treat coronavirus, with many pointing out that only 97 out of 100 scientists...
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Prince Andrew Says He Can’t Talk To FBI Due To Rare Vocal Cord Disorder
Prince Andrew has used a series of hand-written signs to reveal that he has a rare vocal cord condition which prohibits him from being interviewed...
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Under 9’s Fast Bowler Shortens Run-Up To Just 140 Metres
Eight year-old express bowler Jai Matthews has confirmed his next delivery will be off a short run of just 140 metres.
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Marie Kondo Says She Launched Online Store To Allow People To Declutter Their Bank Accounts
Decluttering queen Marie Kondo had defended her decision to open a new online homewares store, saying she wanted to provide a simple way for people...
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7 Phrases Scott Morrison Learnt From His Empathy Consultant To Make Him Sound Like A Human Being
This week it was revealed that the Morrison government paid $190,000 to receive advice from empathy consultants. The Shovel can now reveal exclusive further detail...
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Nostalgic! Marvel Announces Plans To Make Reboot Of 2018’s ‘Avengers: Infinity War’
Cashing in on the nostalgia for early 2018 culture, Marvel Studios has announced plans for a modern reboot of the classic movie Avengers: Infinity War,...
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60 Minutes Reveals Shocking Royal Abuse Scandal (And No, It’s Not Prince Andrew Sexually Assaulting A Minor)
Viewers who expected 60 Minutes Australia’s program about royal ‘scandal’ and ‘abuse’ to be about a prince accused of raping a 17 year-old girl, were...
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New MasterChef Challenge Gives Contestants 60 Minutes To Prepare Beautifully-Constructed Illegal Wage Payment Scheme
In a new twist on Australia’s favourite cooking competition, MasterChef contestants will have exactly one hour to cook up the perfect way to underpay their...
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We Used FaceApp On Peter Dutton And He Doesn’t Really Change
According to the popular ageing app FaceApp, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton will remain a pasty, horrible man, although in the future he’ll be wearing...
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We Analysed Meghan And Kate’s Body Language And … Then Stopped Because It Is Weird And Totally Unimportant
A frame-by-frame analysis of Princesses Meghan and Kate at Wimbledon this week showed that we had way too much time on our hands.
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Man’s Conversation Skills Entirely Reliant On Simpson’s References
Saying it was like that Simpson’s episode where Homer breaks his jaw and can’t speak, a Sydney man has admitted he literally can’t go two...
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Israel Folau Forced To Use Innovative New Service ‘GoFundYourself’
Funding for the legal action Israel Folau himself initiated, to defend the bigoted statement he himself chose to post, has been thrown a lifeline, after...
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Link Between Large Headphones And Nagging Sense Of Superiority, Research Finds
People who wear oversized headphones have a far better taste in music than you, it has been revealed.
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Gillette Releases Cute New ‘Pink Lady Razor’ As Part Of Bold New #MeToo Campaign
Saying it wanted to ‘challenge men to think about the way they treat women’, social justice company Gillette has released a cute new pack of...
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EDM Bros Step In To Offer Free Pill Testing At Festivals
A group of brave young ravers is offering to personally test festival-goers’ pills at all major music events this year, in the absence of a...
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