All posts tagged "comedy website"
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Trump Restless As North Korea Briefing Ambles Past 30 Second Mark
Tapping his fingers on the table and looking impatiently around the room, US President Donald Trump asked if things could perhaps be sped up a...
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Direct Correlation Between Shitness Of Ringtone And Time Taken To Find Phone In Handbag, Research Confirms
The more infantile a person’s ringtone, the longer it will take them to realise the phone is theirs, search through their handbag, undo five different...
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“I Can’t Function In The Morning Without Telling People How Dependent I Am On Coffee”
Melbourne woman Lucy Bailey literally can’t get going in the morning until her third, or sometimes even fourth, conversation about coffee.
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First Episode Of New Dr Who To Just Be Men Explaining Concept Of Time Travel To Jodie Whittaker
Acknowledging that the show’s new female lead will probably not be familiar with the ins and outs of physics, producers today confirmed that the first...
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Australian Head Of State Forced To Resign After British Citizenship Revealed
The most senior figure in the Australian governmental system has been forced to stand aside after it was found she holds a British passport. It...
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Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
Mobile telephone devices come with a built-in speaker that you can hear when placed to your ear, it has been revealed.
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Thermomix: “Users Burnt. But Perfectly Seasoned” Company Claims
The Australian distributor of the high-end cooking appliance Thermomix says the allegation that many users have been badly burnt is true, but that the flavour...
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Fox News Drops ‘Fair And Balanced’ Slogan, Finally Freeing It Up To Deliver Biased Content
America’s Fox News has announced it will no longer use its famous ‘Fair and Balanced’ slogan, opening the way for the network to finally put...
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Criminal Activity Higher Among Those Born With Pixelated Faces, Study Finds
Children born with pixelated faces are up to seven times more likely to rob a bank or be part of a real estate scam in...
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“Isn’t It About Time We Had A ‘Wonder Man’ Movie?” Men Demand
Following the success of the new Wonder Woman movie, male moviegoers are asking how long it will be before there’s a superhero movie targeted at them.
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Schapelle Corby Confronted By Appalling Media Frenzy, Media Frenzy Reports
Hundreds of journalists and photographers have described the scene of hundreds of journalists and photographers trying to get a glimpse of Schapelle Corby as ‘chaotic’...
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This Millenial Turned An Avocado Into A One-Bedroom Apartment And Now Has A Mortgage Of Just $18
Meet Daniel Jacobson, the 25 year-old engineering graduate who turned a plate of smashed avocado on toast into a cosy one-bedroom apartment in South Yarra.
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Prince Philip To Retire From Whatever It Is He Does
Prince Philip will no longer do all those things, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.
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New “Frozen 2” Movie Only Developed To Stop Children Singing ‘Let It Go’, Disney Admits
Disney Pictures has announced it will introduce a new movie – ‘Frozen 2’ – in a desperate attempt to stop young girls singing the most...
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“She Quit Her Job, Now This #GirlBoss Makes $23 a Fortnight”
“If you can’t eat it, don’t wear it”. That’s the motto of plucky local woman Joyce Chambers, who gave up her high paying job as...
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