Sport
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Jarryd Hayne To Take Nick Kyrgios’s Spot And Pursue Dream Of Playing Olympic Tennis
Former NRL, NFL and Fijian 7s star Jarryd Hayne has jumped at the opportunity to fill Nick Kyrgios’s spot on the Australian Olympic tennis team,...
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New Safety Briefing To Remind Passengers To Check For Grant Hackett Before Take Off
Passengers on Virgin flights from today will be told to familiarise themselves with their nearest Grant Hackett, remembering it may be behind them.
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Sharapova Forced To Hand Back Her Australian Open Loss
Russian tennis star Maria Sharapova has been ordered to relinquish her quarter final Australian Open failure, following a positive drug test.
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Nine New Marsh Relatives Brought In To Bolster Australian One Day Squad
Chief Australian cricket selector Rod Marsh has announced sweeping changes to the one-day squad after a humiliating 159-run defeat at the hands of the Kiwis yesterday.
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Mitchell Pearce: “Dog Was Dressed Inappropriately, Asking For It”
Sydney Roosters player Mitchell Pearce has hit back at claims he sexually assaulted a dog, saying the Maltese terrier knew what it was getting into.
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EXCLUSIVE: James Hird Denies Ever Being Coach At Essendon
Unhindered by contractual obligations or court proceedings, James Hird speaks exclusively to The Shovel about what really happened during Essendon’s disastrous 2012 season.
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Lance Armstrong Offers To Show Essendon How To Cheat Properly
Seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong has contacted AFL club Essendon, offering to reveal the missing step in the team’s cheating program: winning.
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Channel Ten To Introduce Bikini-Clad Commentators For Big Bash Final Series
The entertainment level is set to go up a notch for cricket’s Big Bash finals games, with the competition’s broadcaster today confirming its female commentators...
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News Corp Hires 30 New Journalists For Expanded Jarryd Hayne Division
The country’s largest media network has announced plans to add to its Jarryd Hayne division, saying it wants to provide a more thorough coverage of the...
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Myer CEO To Sing National Anthem At Next Year’s Melbourne Cup
Myer CEO Richard Umbers will sing Advance Australia Fair at the Melbourne Cup from now on, to avoid any confusion about which company is sponsoring...
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Inexperienced Melbourne Cup Punter Just Going To Choose Betting Agency Based On Name, Colours
Admitting he didn’t know much about any of the 24 betting agencies lining up for Tuesday’s Melbourne Cup, Adelaide man Hugh Watson said he would...
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Virgin Airlines Draws Massive Middle Finger To Perth Football Fans
Virgin took to the skies over the weekend to fly around Western Australia in the shape of a giant middle finger, all in celebration of...
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112-Point Loss Final Straw For Club That Injected Players With Human Growth Hormone
The man who oversaw teenagers being injected with unknown substances has been sacked, after overseeing a shocking 112-point loss on Saturday.
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Catastrophic Spelling Error Sees Australian Croquet Team Take To Field In 4th Test
A terrible mix up has meant Australia’s national croquet team were forced to face up against England in Nottingham last night, instead of the cricket...
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English Guy At Work About To Become Unbearable
The English guy at your work is about to become unbearable, it has been revealed. England is suddenly good at everything and your smug mate...
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