Follow The Shovel



plastic bag
Sickly, Fading Plastic Shopping Bag Told It Only Has 10,000 Years To Live
Feeling broken and past its prime, a supermarket shopping bag was today given just 10,000 years to live
3 4 diet
New 3/4 Diet Requires You To Speak About Diet 3/4 Of The Time
A revolutionary new diet which requires devotees to speak about the diet to friends and family three out of every
usb drive
Man Dies After Removing Memory Stick Without Properly Ejecting It First
Described by friends and family as ‘reckless’ and ‘fearless’, Sydney man Johnny White was found dead this morning holding a
Dad Looking Forward To Wedding Of Prince Harry And Angela Merkel
Melbourne Dad Roger Waterman says he plans to watch Prince Harry marry the German Chancellor this weekend
There Is Nothing Else You Can Help Us With Today, Nation Tells Call Centre Workers
“We know why we called”, the nation told call centre operators around the country today
Smug Man Who Shut Down His Facebook Frantically Looking For Way To Tell Friends And Family
Feeling very pleased with himself after shutting down a social media service that most other people don’t have the discipline
think before print
‘Think Before You Print’ Message Spills Over Onto Its Very Own Page
A reminder about the environmental impacts of wasting paper was stylishly presented on its own piece of paper at a
people bumping
88% Of Relationships Begun by Colliding into Person Holding Stack of Files, Research Finds
A decades long study by the University of California has found that 88% of all relationships are begun by colliding
SUV self entitlement
Overwhelming Sense Of Self-Entitlement Now Included Standard With All SUVs
Large luxury SUVs will soon come standard with airbags, bluetooth and an over-exaggerated desire to do whatever the f*ck works
standing up in plane
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
A Sydney businessman has arrived at his destination almost two full seconds before his fellow passengers, after bolting up into
tomic quitline
Bernard Tomic To Become New Face of Quitline
Aussie tennis star Barnard Tomic has been announced as the new face of Quitline, in a campaign that will give
captain cook
Captain Cook Preferred Hottest 100 On Australia Day, Diary Entries Show
Reigniting the debate over the date of Australia’s biggest music countdown, newly discovered diary entries show that explorer Captain Cook
australian flag cape
‘You Can’t Get More Aussie Than This!’ Says Man Wearing Flag Made In Guangdong Province
A man draped in a flag made in a sprawling factory on the outskirts of Guangzhou says he’s never felt
overtaking lane
Slow Car In Front To Increase Speed For Overtaking Lane
Travelling 8 km per hour below the speed limit for the past half an hour, the car in front will
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
A Brisbane woman who rang Centrelink to enquire about a youth allowance 38 years ago has finally had her phone