Follow The Shovel



Local Introvert Prepares For Coronavirus By Self-Isolating For Last 20 Years
Sydney man Kyle McKenzie says he has been preparing for the COVID-19 epidemic since 2001, cleverly avoiding crowds and public
Man Who Has Runny Nose And Fucking Hates His Job Pretty Sure He Has Coronavirus 
A Melbourne man who woke up with a bit of a sniffle and an ongoing hatred of his job, feels
5 Great Toilet Paper Recipes For Idiots Who Forgot To Buy Food 
You’ve contracted coronavirus, you’ve been told you need to self-isolate for 14 days, and instead of buying things you actually
Powerball Jackpots To 12-Pack Of 3-Ply Toilet Paper
One lucky Australian could walk away with a week’s supply of toilet paper tonight, after Powerball jackpotted to a dozen
Your IQ Is 150 Minus The Number Of Toilet Paper Rolls You Have In Your House Right Now 
A new, simpler measure of intelligence has been developed which is calculated by subtracting the number of rolls of toilet
People Panic-Buying Toilet Paper Are Most Likely To Die From Coronavirus, New Research Confirms 
People who think toilet paper is the most important thing to stock up on during a viral outbreak are probably
Hotel Room Only Has 48 Lamps
A room at a local hotel chain has fewer than 50 lamps, a man was surprised to discover this week
Wanker Announces Plans To Reverse Into Shopping Centre Parking Space 
A man at a local shopping centre car park has let it be known that he will be spending the
Pack-A-Day Smoker Moves To Sydney, Saves $210 A Week .
Brisbane man Terry McManus says he has no need to buy cigarettes any more, given he can smoke in Sydney
542 Signs You May Be A Perfectionist
Halloween: This Kid Is Dressing Up As A Coal Industry Lobbyist In Order To Get Bigger Handouts 
Pre-schooler Jack Fawson has announced that he will be dressing up as coal industry lobbyist this Halloween, in order to
Signing For A Parcel With Your Finger Is Literally Useless, Nation Says
Using your finger to create a wobbly line that looks nothing like your signature is a massive waste of time,
god doesn't care
God Doesn’t Give A Fuck Who Gets Married
The Almighty Father couldn’t give two shits which humans want to sign a piece of paper outlining their commitment to
Man Becomes First Person To Drive 42km In Under 2 Hours In Sydney Traffic
Office worker Darren Lacone has managed to get from one side of Sydney to the other in sub two hours,
Man Takes Break From Looking At Big Screen To Spend Time Looking At Small Screen 
Saying it can get monotonous looking at a big backlit screen all day, Sydney man Brad Knight decided to break