The Nation
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Health Minister Assures Local Man That The My Health Record System Is Secure, And Wishes Him Well For His Upcoming Genital Herpes Treatment
Health Minister Greg Hunt has assured a local voter in Sydney that the new My Health system is totally secure, and said he hoped the...
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5 Tips For Avoiding African Gangs In Melbourne
So you’re visiting Melbourne? We hope you brought security. With African gangs running unchecked across the streets of Australia’s second-largest city, most visitors don’t make...
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Peter Dutton Criticises Thailand For Failing To Keep Their Children In Detention
Australian Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton says Thailand is ‘soft’ on detention and should have done more to keep the twelve boys and their coach...
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Tony Abbott Demands To Know Which Dickhead Signed Australia Up To The Paris Climate Agreement
Tony Abbott has used a speech to a group of climate sceptics to express his concerns about the Paris Climate Agreement, demanding to know which...
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“It’s About Free Speech”, Fuckhead Senator Says
A man who has defended making sexist comments on the basis of free speech is a massive wanker, it has emerged.
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Shorten Meets With Shadow Cabinet To Formulate This Week’s Tax Policy
Opposition leader Bill Shorten says he and his team will consider all available options before announcing the tax policy that will take them to the...
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Peter Dutton Named New ABC News Anchor
Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton’s portfolio has again been extended – he will now host ABC’s seven o’clock bulletin, in a move designed to ensure...
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New One Nation Induction Booklet Now Comes With Handy Resignation Form
Incoming One Nation Senators will pre-fill out their resignation letter as part of the on-boarding process, it has been revealed.
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‘Western Culture Is Superior’, Tony Abbott Says, As Poo Jogger Puts Finishing Touches To 32nd Public Dump
In a busy news day yesterday, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott said Western culture was better than other cultures, and Brisbane executive Andrew Douglas Macintosh...
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Barnaby Joyce Furious As Intrusive Journalists Come Right Into His Living Room!
Saying enough was enough, Barnaby Joyce has again called for journalists to respect his privacy, after he arrived home last night to find a camera...
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“It Was Vikki’s Idea For Me To Lose All Sense Of Responsibility”: Joyce
Barnaby Joyce has told journalists that it was actually his new partner – Vikki Campion – who had the idea for him not to take...
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Barnaby Joyce To Charge For Answering Questions In Parliament
Former Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce won’t be providing an answer in Question Time for under 10k, it has emerged.
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‘White Flight’ Actually Technical Term For QF43 To Bali, Experts Confirm
As NSW Labor leader Luke Foley came under fire for his racist use of the term ‘white flight’, experts confirmed that the term was originally...
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Sydney Trains Apologises For ‘Truly Inexcusable Mistake’ After Train Leaves On Time
Just days after a Japanese train driver apologised for his ‘truly inexcusable mistake’ of leaving 25 seconds early, Sydney Trains has also apologised after unexpectedly...
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Bank Robs Man
Authorities are searching for a bank that is alleged to have been involved in a spate of robberies spanning several years.
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