The Nation
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Climate Change Put On Hold Until Next Election
Global warming has been shelved until at least the next federal election, the Coalition announced today.
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Morrison Kicks Off New Government By Promising Every Australian An Extra 10 Fair Dinkums Next Financial Year
Building on his promise from the election campaign, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced that every Australian taxpayer will get an additional ten Fair Dinkums...
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Peter Dutton Believes He Has Numbers To Win Labor Party Leadership
Home Affairs Minister and maths whiz Peter Dutton says he has the numbers he needs to secure the ALP leadership.
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Tanya Plibersek Pulls Out Of Race Against Albo And ScoMo: ‘Australia’s Not Ready For A Leader Without A Nickname Ending In O’
ALP veteran Tanya Plibersek has pulled out of the Labor leadership race, saying fellow ALP heavyweight Albo is the only one who has what it...
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Clive Palmer Could Have Won Same Amount Of Seats With Half The Spend, Analysis Shows
Expert analysis shows that mining magnate Clive Palmer could have won zero seats with just $30 million – half of the $60 million he reportedly...
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94% Of Australians Still Have Faith In Polls, Newspoll Finds
Polling company Newspoll says a recent survey of the nation shows that the vast majority of Australians still believe polls work.
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Australia Elects Coalition, Excitedly Waits To See What Its Policies Will Be
Saying it was like waiting to open presents on Christmas morning, Australians across the country were today eagerly waiting to see what policies they had...
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Nation Re-Elects Man Who Took A Piece Of Fucking Coal Into Parliament
Australia has decided that the best man to lead the country is a man who took an actual pet rock into federal parliament.
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Tony Abbott Loses Tough Battle Against Formidable Opponent ‘The Year 2019’
Former Prime Minister Tony has conceded defeat in the seat of Warringah, after a long and hotly contested battle against The Year 2019.
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Australians Yet To Realise They Can Have Sausages In Bread Other 364 Other Days Of Year
Thousands of Australians who are inexplicably excited about the chance to purchase a sausage in bread today, will lose their fucking minds when they discover...
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Bob Hawke Begins Arduous Task Of Deregulating Heaven’s Economy
Saying no-one else was going to make the tough choices required to bring Heaven into the 21st Century, Bob Hawke has immediately announced plans to...
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Party With 4% Of Vote Speaks For Silent Majority
Surprising pollsters and political analysts alike, a party that is polling at just over 4% of the national vote speaks for the majority of Australians,...
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Greens Voter Exhausted From Constantly Being Right
A Greens voter from Newtown says being right about absolutely everything takes its toll, but he doesn’t see a break coming any time soon.
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Explainer: The Shovel’s Guide To Voting
When you come to vote on election day, you will be given two ballot papers – one the size of the snacks menu at a...
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New High Speed Rail Will Run Between Sydney & Melbourne Once Every Election Year
A new high speed rail policy has been announced that will connect the country’s two largest cities once every three years, or more frequently when...
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