The Nation
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DAY 5: Eric Abetz Still Heterosexual
Tasmanian Senator Eric Abetz still hasn’t been turned into a gay, reports show.
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God Forgets To Send Plague To Destroy Australia
The Almighty Father slept in this morning, missing the opportunity to punish Australia for allowing two people of the same sex to get married.
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Kevin Andrews Announces Plans To Whip Himself Every Time A Gay Couple Gets Married
Liberal MP Kevin Andrews says he will begin a ritual of self flagellation to atone for the sins of gay Australians.
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Turnbull Living Boyhood Dream Of Desperately Clinging To Power
For as long as he can remember, Malcolm Turnbull has wanted to be an inconsequential, powerless leader at the beck and call of a small...
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Constitutional Crisis Deepens: Dozens Of MPs To Keep Their Seats
In another cruel twist in the citizenship saga, there were concerns today that some MPs may actually be sole citizens of Australia, and therefore eligible...
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Pauline Hanson Says 13% Qld Vote Is More Evidence Of Angry, Silent Majority
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson says her party’s vote in the recent Queensland election was confirmation that most people want change.
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Australians To Take Next Week Off, In Solidarity With Turnbull Government
Australia’s workforce won’t be in next week, it has been revealed.
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Strict Greens’ Recycling Policy Sees Discarded 90s Politician Turned Into Senator
The Greens have chosen to re-use an old senator they found washed up in Canberra, rather than waste resources on a brand new Senator.
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Same Sex Marriage Opponents Now Enjoying Last Few Moments Before Their Lives Are Dramatically Unchanged
Those opposed to same sex marriage say it is now only a matter of time before two people they’ve never even met will be allowed...
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Government On Verge Of Collapse To Reassure Nation By Debating Merits Of Gay Wedding Cakes
Saying it was focused on solving the big issues facing the nation, the Government confirmed it would spend its final days discussing how to regulate...
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Parliament To Be Held In Circus Tent For Remainder Of Year
The last parliamentary sitting weeks of 2017 will be held in a big top, it has been revealed.
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Lyle Shelton: Why you should vote ‘No’ on the same sex marriage plebiscite
I’m not one to mince my words, so let’s set this off on a diversionary path right from the start. This debate isn’t about marriage...
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Citizenship Audit ‘Too Expensive, Protracted And Inconclusive’ Turnbull Says, As $122 Million Voluntary Postal Survey Enters 8th Week
As uncertainty mounts about the impact of section 44 on the Australian parliament, Malcolm Turnbull says the Government couldn’t possibly consider an expensive, drawn-out process...
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Peter Dutton Dresses Up As Himself In Terrifying Halloween Prank
The Immigration Minister arrived at Parliament House today dressed as Peter Dutton, in a terrifying Halloween prank that startled school children and adults alike.
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Matt Canavan Escapes High Court Ban After Last-Minute Letter From His Mum
The High Court has decided to let Nationals senator Matt Canavan off this time, after he was able to produce a letter from his Mum...
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