The Nation
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Sydney Opera House To Become ‘Crown Bet Arena’
Sydney’s iconic opera house will become known as Crown Bet Arena from January, in a five-year deal said to be worth millions.
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Morrison Says He’ll Keep Close Tabs On ABC To Ensure No Further Political Interference
Prime Minister Scott Morrison says the ABC should be free from political meddling and announced that he’ll be having regular conversations with the board to...
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Liberal Party Sets Target For Amount Of Empty Rhetoric About Female MPs
Liberal Leader Scott Morrison says he is open to setting minimum targets for the amount of times the party makes a hollow statement about the...
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‘A Beacon Of Stability’: Australia Hasn’t Changed Leaders In 30 Years
As other nations chop and change government leaders on a whim, Australia has shown rare fortitude, opting to stay the course with one man for...
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Labor Names Malcolm Turnbull As Candidate For Wentworth By-Election
Up-and-coming local businessman Malcolm Turnbull has been pre-selected as Labor’s candidate for next month’s Wentworth by-election.
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Scott Morrison Uses Question Time To Ask ‘WHO’S F*%KIN’ TONIGHT!?’
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has used question time to quiz both sides of parliament on their sexual plans for this evening.
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Nation Surprised To Discover Anyone Even Knows National Anthem
While Pauline Hanson loses her shit over a 9 year-old refusing to stand for the national anthem, the rest of Australia is staggered that there...
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‘Quotas For Woman Ridiculous’ Says Senator Whose Job Literally Relies On The Concept Of Quotas
A Tasmanian man who only has a job because the founders of Australia’s parliamentary system implemented a rule ensuring equal representation for smaller states, says...
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Dutton Dismisses ‘Job For Mates’ Allegation On Basis He Has No Mates
Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton says the allegation that he helped a friend get a job at Border Force is patently false, quite simply because...
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Internal Investigation Finds Liberal Party Doesn’t Have A Fucking Problem With Bullying, Ok?
There is absolutely no bullying culture in the Liberal Party and if you say otherwise don’t expect to work in this town again, an internal...
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Turnbulls Move Out Of Cramped, Dingy 8-Bedroom Prime Minister’s Residence
Saying they were looking forward to having their own space again, the Turnbulls today started moving out of their poky little 8-bedroom apartment, ‘The Lodge’,...
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Chelsea Manning Successfully Enters Australia Disguised As An Au Pair
After initially being denied a visa due to failing the ‘character test’, soldier-turned-WikiLeaks informer Chelsea Manning passed through Sydney Airport last night dressed as an...
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Morrison May Have Dad Jokes To Match Bill Shorten, Labor Party Fears
After a three-year search, the Liberal Party may have finally found a leader with the excruciatingly awkward dad-joke shtick to take it right up to...
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Scott Morrison Gives Ministers Rupert Murdoch Pins To Remind Them Which Side They’re On
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has given each of his ministers a Rupert Murdoch pin to attach to their lapel, as a daily reminder of who...
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Boatload Of ‘French Au Pairs’ Arrives Off Coast Of Australia
Saying they were here for a short working holiday on a cattle station in rural South Australia, a boatload of 256 ‘French au pairs’ entered...
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