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Labor: “Our Campaign Had Too Many Messages”. Shorten: “I Reject That For The Following 17 Reasons”
The much-anticipated post mortem of the Labor Party’s failed election campaign has found that the campaign was trying to communicate
2GB Gives Alan Jones 38th Final Warning
Sydney radio station 2GB has told Alan Jones if he makes one more derogatory comment about women he will be
Man Complaining About Hot Cross Buns In January Yet To Realise He Doesn’t Have To Buy Them
A Melbourne man who has spent most of 2019 complaining about how hot cross buns are already on supermarket shelves,
Standing Right Next To Baggage Carousel Makes Luggage Arrive Faster, Study Shows
Standing as close as you can to the baggage carousel at an airport is the best way to speed up
‘Onion Too Dangerous’ Says Shop That Has Dedicated Chainsaw Section
A warehouse chain that has an entire section devoted to chainsaws, compound mitre saws and jackhammers, has warned its customers
Renters Unveil World’s Tiniest Violin For Home Owners Whose Properties Have Fallen In Value
Renters across the nation unveiled the world’s tiniest violin today in a touching tribute to home owners suffering from dropping
australia flag
Migrants Failing To Assimilate, 200-Year-Study Finds
Migrants to Australia have displayed an inability to assimilate with local values and refuse to speak anything but their native
Postage & Packaging
Malcolm Turnbull Skols Glass Of ’88 Shiraz-Grenache At SCG
Malcolm Turnbull has gone one better than former PM Bob Hawke, downing a whole glass of reserve Barossa Shiraz-Grenache in
Abbott thinks for himself
“I Think For Myself” Credlin Tells Abbott To Say
“I am my own man and I make my own decisions,” a set of talking points written by Peta Credlin
fox news
U.S. News Bulletin To Now Give Overview Of The Day’s News, Sport, Mass Shootings And Weather
TV news bulletins will now give Americans an overview of the day’s top mass murders, along with the regular sport,
apple tax haven
Apple Unveils Sleek New Tax Haven
Apple CEO Tim Cook today announced the company’s latest offering – a beautifully designed offshore tax-avoidance scheme, named the iHaven
Doctors Desperately Trying To Photoshop Kim Jong-Un Back To Life
Gravely ill and suffering from suspected heart issues, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un was last night being operated on by
charity mugger
Man Who Just Wants One Minute Of Your Time Also Wants Your Credit Card Details, Email Address And A 12 Month Financial Commitment
A nice-looking man who simply wants a quick thirty-second chat, actually also wants the best part of $600 from you
Christopher Pyne satire
BREAKING: Even Christopher Pyne Finds Christopher Pyne Annoying
The only person in Australia who supposedly did not find Liberal MP Christopher Pyne annoying – Christopher Pyne himself –
Gina Rinehart’s 5 Easy Steps To Becoming Rich
1. Make sure your dad is really wealthy Do whatever you have to do to be born into enormous wealth