All posts by The Shovel
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Gold Coast Insecurity Threat Level “Critical” As Actual Athletes Arrive
Gold Coast residents have been warned to stay indoors and avoid social media this week as 4460 actual athletes descend on the #instafit city for...
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Attention-Seeking Fake Blonde Had Sex With Stormy Daniels, 60 Minutes Reveals
Some desperate-for-money blonde with big tits once had sex with Stormy Daniels, a 60 Minute interview has exposed.
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Milo Cricket Launches ‘My First Yellow Tape’ For Cricketing Youngsters
Saying it wanted to teach young boys and girls all the skills required to play in the grown-ups’ game, Milo in2CRICKET has launched an exciting...
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John Howard Offers To Step In As Captain For Fourth Test
Former Prime Minister John Howard says he will do the selfless thing and lead Australia during the fourth test in South Africa, if asked.
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Dutton Offers Asylum To White Cricketers Under Attack In South Africa
Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton has announced plans to offer asylum to a small group of Test cricketers who are being persecuted in South Africa.
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Smug Man Who Shut Down His Facebook, Frantically Looking For Way To Tell Friends And Family
Feeling very pleased with himself after shutting down a social media service that most other people don’t have the discipline or awareness to extract themselves...
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World Down To Its Last Few Spearmint Rhinos, Concerned Researchers Report
There are only a dozen or so Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Clubs remaining in the world, a group of young male researchers has confirmed.
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Facebook Doesn’t Store Your Data, Mark Zuckerberg Assures James Samuel Wilson Of 1/45 Malvern Ave, Heidelberg Heights
Wishing him a happy birthday for last week and complimenting him on the new shirt he bought today, Mark Zuckerburg reassured 26 year-old, university educated,...
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‘Think Before You Print’ Message Spills Over Onto Its Very Own Page
A reminder about the environmental impacts of wasting paper was stylishly presented on its own piece of paper at a local office this morning.
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New Facebook Privacy Setting Allows Users To Stop Posting Intimate Details Of Their Personal Life
New privacy controls on Facebook will allow users to decide whether or not to post details of their relationship status, shopping preferences, private thoughts and...
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Russians Did Not Influence Outcome Of Russian Election, Enquiry Finds
Russians have played absolutely no role in shaping the outcome of the recent Russian election, an international investigation has found.
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Russian Election: Putin Scrapes In With Just 101% Of Vote
Russian President Vladimir Putin has narrowly retained office, obtaining just over two out of every two votes in the recent national elections.
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Rohingyas To Reskill As White South African Farmers, In Last Desperate Attempt For Refugee Status
Hundreds of Rohingya men and women from Myanmar have begun to learn the skills required to become white South African farmers, in the hope it...
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Trump Yet To Realise He No Longer Needs To Fire One Person A Week
US President and former host of The Apprentice Donald Trump is still under the impression he needs to fire one person a week until there...
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McDonald’s Launches New ‘Ethical Options’ Made From Free Range, Cruelty Free Emulsifiers
Fast food giant McDonald’s has joined the movement towards offering more ethical food options, vowing to use only free range emulsifiers and additives in its...
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