All posts by The Shovel
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Facebook Outage Crisis: Man’s Friends Totally Unaware He Went For 7.2km Run This Morning
Friends and family of Sydney man John Reice were overwhelmed and confused this morning, after a Facebook outage meant they were unable to see how far...
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Confectionery Item Beats Far-Right Candidate In Stunning French Election Victory
French people have voted overwhelmingly for a meringue-based confectionery item to run their country, saying it would do a better job than extreme far-right leader...
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Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
The often-used term ‘political correctness gone mad’ should be changed to ‘political correctness that has become anxious or psychologically distressed’, a government committee has recommended.
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Prince Philip To Retire From Whatever It Is He Does
Prince Philip will no longer do all those things, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.
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Turnbull Forced To Meet With Trump On Australia/US Relations, After Putin Unavailable
In a sign of Australia’s relative insignificance in the eyes of the US, the White House has sent its administrative assistant Donald Trump to meet...
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Fairfax Axes 1/4 Editorial Jobs: Promises “Australian Journalasm Wont Suffa”
“All of our papers is in good hands,” says a statement released today by one of the two remaining employees at Fairfax Media.
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Convenient ‘Shuttle Plane’ Service To Link Western Sydney Airport To City
Passengers arriving at the new Western Sydney Airport will be able to take advantage of a regular and affordable shuttle plane service into Sydney Airport, from...
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Trump To Utilise Valuable Advertising Space On Side Of Missiles
Saying he couldn’t believe no-one had ever thought of it before, US President Donald Trump today unveiled plans to buy-up advertising real estate on the nation’s...
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Fast & Furious 8 “The Best Fast & Furious Film So Far This Year” Say Critics
Film critics have praised new action drama Fast & Furious 8, with some saying it is the franchise’s best instalment in months.
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New “Frozen 2” Movie Only Developed To Stop Children Singing ‘Let It Go’, Disney Admits
Disney Pictures has announced it will introduce a new movie – ‘Frozen 2’ – in a desperate attempt to stop young girls singing the most...
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Trump’s First 100 Days Have Had Way More Days Than Obama’s First 100 Days, White House Says
White House spokesperson Sean Spicer says Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office contained the largest number of days ever seen in a President’s first...
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One Nation Candidate [Insert Name] To [Resign/Be Detained] After [Hate Crime/Strange Fetish/Inappropriate Nazi Affiliation] Revealed
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE One Nation’s candidate for <insert electorate> has <quit/been forced out/been detained by police> after <threatening to kill someone/committing a theft/mowing Nazi insignia...
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Housing Crisis: ‘I Only Have Five’ Cormann Says
Finance Minister Mathias Cormann says the Australian MP’s dream of having a double-digit property portfolio is becoming out of reach, with some younger politicians owning as...
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Religious Extremist Enters Country
Security has been stepped up across Sydney after police were alerted to a religious extremist who had somehow found his way into the country.
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Deputy PM’s Speech On New Language Test For Migrants Still Awaiting Translation
Barnaby Joyce has given an impassioned defence of the Government’s proposed new English Language tests for migrants, an early translation suggests.
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