All posts by The Shovel
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Dustin Hoffman Reveals: ‘I Got Vaccinated So I Could Properly Portray The Autistic Side Of Rain Man’
Dustin Hoffman has never been one to do things by halves. For the 1982 movie Tootsie, Hoffman wore woman’s clothes for 6 months to prepare...
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Melbourne’s Coldest Morning Of The Year; 18 Queenslanders Found Dead
Melbourne woke up to a chilly 4 degrees this morning, the coldest of the year so far. Eighteen former Queenslanders died.
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ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
ISIS has released a statement saying it is behind the tissue which became dispersed through an entire load of washing this morning, just hours after...
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Hanson Calls For ABC Funding To Be Cut By 150%
Controversial One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has demanded funding for the national broadcaster be cut by at least 150-200%, in a fiery Senate enquiry hearing...
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Waves Lapping American Cities Will Be ‘Greatest Waves You’ve Ever Seen’ Trump Says
Donald Trump addressed a jubilant group of supporters today, telling them that climate change in America will be better than anywhere else in the world.
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Fuck, It’s June
It is the sixth month of 2017, experts claim.
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Homosexuality Is A Plot To Brainwash Children, Says Leader Of Organisation That Actually Brainwashes Children
A woman who founded an organisation with the explicit objective to ‘take this nation for Jesus’, is concerned homosexuality is a plot to get into...
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Shorten, Turnbull In Solidarity With COVFEVE
The PM and the Opposition Leader have both expressed their support for COVFEVE overnight, in a rare show of bipartisan agreement.
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White Guy With Straw Fedora Survives Entire Party Without Touching Guitar
Callum Whitebridge, a 28-year-old Brisbane man, has shocked his peers by lasting an entire house party without touching the acoustic guitar in the corner.
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Margaret Court Yet To Respond To Controversy Because She’s Been On A Greyhound Bus For The Past 4 Days
Tennis great Margaret Court is unaware of the controversy surrounding her comments about same-sex marriage because she’s been cooped up on a 72-hour coach trip...
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Pauline Hanson Surprised To Learn ASIO And Asia Not Same Thing
Pauline Hanson got all worked up by ASIO last week. But we think she may have just been getting our intelligence agency confused with Asia. After all,...
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Schapelle Corby Confronted By Appalling Media Frenzy, Media Frenzy Reports
Hundreds of journalists and photographers have described the scene of hundreds of journalists and photographers trying to get a glimpse of Schapelle Corby as ‘chaotic’...
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Corby Arrested At Brisbane Airport After Banana, Bag Of Nuts Found In Luggage
Schapelle Corby is being held in police custody in an Australian airport after she failed to declare a food item.
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God And Satan’s 2iCs Hammer Out Trade Agreement For This Season’s Soul Harvest
In an unprecedented diplomatic event between His Glorious Kingdom and The Eternal Hellforge of Damnation, representatives from both parties have met in Vatican City to...
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Yassmin Abdel-Magied’s ABC Show Axed, Leaving Gaping Hole In The Australian’s Opinion Section
Yassmin’s Abdel-Magied’s axing from the ABC could lead to a huge reduction in quality opinion pieces about Yassmin Abdel-Magied, The Australian has warned.
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