All posts by The Shovel
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Dutton: “My Biggest Regret Is I Wasted Time Learning To Smile”
Peter Dutton says the hours he spent in front of a mirror last week trying to get his lips to move in an upward direction...
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Morrison Says Government Is Getting On With The Job Of Being Caught Up In Its Own Self-Constructed Bullshit
New Prime Minister Scott Morrison says his government is 100% focused on the concerns and issues of his government.
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Scott Morrison Keeps Small Piece Of Peter Dutton As Memento
New Prime Minister Scott Morrison has revealed that he has kept an off-cut of Peter Dutton as a keepsake, after a bruising leadership battle.
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Trump Praises Malcolm Trumble, Congratulates Scott Morrible
US President Donald Trump has sent his condolences to deposed Prime Minister Malcolm Trumble and phoned to congratulate new Prime Minister Scott Morrible.
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Malcolm Turnbull: “I Can Hold My Head High Knowing I Always Stuck To Other People’s Principles”
Malcolm Turnbull has given an emotional speech to the press gallery, saying he can leave Parliament proud that he always stood up for what other...
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Liberal Party Chooses Scott Morrison To Lose Next Election
Scott Morrison is seen by his colleagues as the best candidate to lead the nation for the next few months before crashing to a demeaning...
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Josh Frydenberg Announces Leadership Challenge, Citing ‘Need For Change’
Announcing plans for a leadership spill today, Deputy Prime Minister Josh Frydenberg said Scott Morrison has not delivered for Australia and that it was time...
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BREAKING: Bill Shorten Wins Liberal Leadership Spill
Bill Shorten has won the Liberal Party leadership ballot, it has emerged.
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Dutton Moves His Childcare Centres To Nauru To Avoid Any Conflict
Peter Dutton moved his childcare clients to Nauru last night, in an attempt to circumvent any contravention of section 44 of the Constitution.
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Turnbull Lists NBN As His Proudest Achi
Recently departed Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull says the installa
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Wet Cardboard Box Announces It Will Run As Third, More Charismatic Consensus Candidate
A soggy old box in an alleyway near Parliament House has come forward as a viable alternative to Peter Dutton, saying it would run on...
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A Handy Guide To Understanding Peter Dutton’s Body Language
The Australian people don’t know a lot about their next Prime Minister. So we’ve put together this handy guide to help you get a better...
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Dutton: “I Have What It Takes To One Day Get Dumped As PM”
Immigration Minister Peter Dutton says he has the skills and the fleeting support within his party needed to rise to the top job and then...
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Nation Just So Fucking Over This
This is getting ridiculous, it has been revealed.
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