All posts by The Shovel
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Where The Leaders Stand On The Major Issues – Your 60 Second Guide
With the federal election just days away, it’s important to be informed about where the leaders stand on the major issues. Here’s your 1 minute...
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Daily Telegraph Says It ‘Got It Wrong’ With Yesterday’s Article And Will Publish A Full Page Cartoon Of Bill Shorten’s Mum As A Nazi Tomorrow
The Daily Telegraph has apologised for its article about Bill Shorten’s mum, saying it had let its readers down by not going far enough in...
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Calls To Increase Skills Funding, After Woman Fails To Hit PM With Egg From 10cm
In yet another sign of the growing skills gap in Australia, an Albury women has failed to hit Scott Morrison with an egg, even though...
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Pauline Hanson Withdraws Support For Monarchy After Learning Meghan Markle Is In Labor
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson says she was shocked to learn today that the Duchess of Sussex is a signed-up member of Australia’s main opposition...
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Pauline Hanson Can’t Believe How Unlucky She Is To Keep Choosing Fucking Idiots As Candidates
A tearful Pauline Hanson has told A Current Affair that choosing a bankrupt, a crazy conspiracy theorist, a homophobe, a drunk racist and an actual...
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One Nation Candidate [Insert Name] To [Resign/Be Detained] After [Hate Crime/Strange Fetish/Inappropriate Nazi Affiliation] Revealed
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE One Nation’s candidate for <insert electorate> has <quit/been forced out/been detained by police> after <threatening to kill someone/committing a theft/mowing Nazi insignia...
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Shorten Forced To Ad-lib Conversation At Family Breakfast, After Advisor Forgets To Send Through Talking Points
Without a script or even a bullet list of talking points, Labor leader Bill Shorten was this morning forced to think of his own things...
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Scott Morrison Assembles Media To Announce That He Won’t Be Campaigning Today
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has gathered media together in a regular Sydney pub to announce that – out of respect for Australia’s service men and...
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Barnaby Joyce Says He Bought $80Mil Of Water To Cure Thumping Hangover
Former Agriculture and Water Minister Barnaby Joyce says the controversial $80 million purchase of water made by the government in 2017 was not for environmental...
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The Nationals Took Out An Ad In Our Election Guide And It’s Pretty Upfront Actually
The National Party has paid for a full-page ad in our Official Election Guide. For 100 pages of seat-by-seat analysis, leader profiles and policy comparisons,...
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Apple Unveils Plans To Revitalise Notre Dame Precinct With New Flagship Store
Saying it would become an iconic new destination the likes of which have never been seen in France, Apple has announced it will build a...
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Dutton: “I Manage To Live In My Electorate, Even Though I’m Missing My Soul”
Home Affairs Minister Dutton has continued his attack on opponent Ali France, saying he had no problems finding a place to live in the electorate,...
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Date For Mid-Term Leadership Coup Confirmed For Late 2020
Uncertainty about the exact date of the next mid-cycle Prime Ministerial knifing has been laid to rest, with the overthrow now locked in for September...
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New Government Ad Just 30-Second Clip Of Scott Morrison Burning Taxpayer Cash
After spending more than $250 million on official government advertising since January last year, the Coalition has decided to try another tactic to get voters’...
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