All posts by The Shovel
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Doubts Emerge Over Whether Trump Was Actually In Tunnel, Pulled Trigger When Al-Baghdadi Died
Doubts have begun to emerge about Donald Trump’s claim that he personally chased ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi into a small tunnel, placed him in...
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7 Phrases Scott Morrison Learnt From His Empathy Consultant To Make Him Sound Like A Human Being
This week it was revealed that the Morrison government paid $190,000 to receive advice from empathy consultants. The Shovel can now reveal exclusive further detail...
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Angus Taylor Provides Documentation To Prove Australian Drought Is Over
Federal Energy Minister Angus Taylor has provided newspaper The Daily Telegraph with compelling photographic evidence that the Australian drought is over.
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Mark Zuckerberg Forgets To Install Personality Update Before Facing Congress
This is the moment a panicked Mark Zuckerberg realised part way through a grilling in the US Congress that he had totally forgetten to install...
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Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg – who died of heart complications at his Californian home today – says the proliferation of fake news stories on the...
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Signing For A Parcel With Your Finger Is Literally Useless, Nation Says
Using your finger to create a wobbly line that looks nothing like your signature is a massive waste of time, new research has found.
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The Australian Blames Malfunctioning Printer For Accidentally Blanking Out The Words ‘ABC’, ‘Safe Schools’ and ‘Gender Wars’ On Front Page
The Australian newspaper has apologised for its front page yesterday, saying a faulty printer accidentally inked out the words ‘ABC’, ‘Safe Schools’, ‘gender wars’ and...
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New Premium Pet Food Range Made From Only The Finest Former Melbourne Cup Winners
An exclusive new pet food range catering to the top end of the market will be made solely from previous winners of Australia’s biggest horse...
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God Doesn’t Give A Fuck Who Gets Married
The Almighty Father couldn’t give two shits which humans want to sign a piece of paper outlining their commitment to each other, it has been...
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Trump Steaks Wins $50 Billion Contract To Supply US Airforce With Warplanes
In a surprise decision, a White House-led government panel has chosen failed food manufacturer Trump Steaks to produce 80 high-tech warplanes worth $50 billion, after...
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Man Who Has Secret To Making Millions From Property Investment Decides To Run Property Seminars Instead
A Gold Coast man whose secret investment strategy will allow you to earn millions of dollars and quit your day job within 6 months, has...
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Trump Accuses Democrat Debate Of Blatant Bias For Not Including A Single Republican
Donald Trump has unleashed a Twitter tirade, accusing the media of bias for not showing a single Republican candidate on last night’s presidential primary debate.
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Man Becomes First Person To Drive 42km In Under 2 Hours In Sydney Traffic
Office worker Darren Lacone has managed to get from one side of Sydney to the other in sub two hours, breaking a mark that many...
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Scott Cam Tells Kids Being A Tradie Is A Good Career Option If You Quit To Become A National TV Host
The Government’s new National Careers Ambassador Scott Cam says too many young people overlook the option of becoming a tradie and then quitting being a...
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Work Begins On New Trump Hotel
Preparation work has begun on a glittering new Trump hotel in north-eastern Syria, with the final building likely to be situated in nearby Turkey.
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