Follow The Shovel

Morrison Says Australians Quarantined On Christmas Island Will Be Processed As Quickly As Possible And Can Expect To Be Off The Island Within 14 Years

Australia’s rapid processing protocols mean those quarantined on Christmas island due to coronavirus fears can expect to be home by the end of 2034, the Prime Minister has confirmed.

Addressing the media this afternoon, Mr Morrison said he had enacted standard procedures to ensure the process was as painless as possible.

“This is now a very streamlined process. Authorities will get straight onto collecting personal details next year, before running a quick nine-year medical check. Once we’re confident there’s no risk of infection, we’ll forget about everyone for a few years and then have them off the island straight away.”

He said he was aware of the concerns of parents with infants. “I want to assure all parents with young ones that we’ll have you out of there before they’ve turned 18”.

Immigration Minister Peter Dutton said those heading to the Christmas Island facility were in for a treat. “It’s basically a 5-star hotel. Enjoy your 14 year holiday”.

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram