Apple Scraps iTunes To Focus On Exciting New Ways To Lose Your Music

Tech giant Apple says it will phase out iTunes and replace it with three innovative new ways to totally fuck with your music collection.

Apple CEO Tim Cook said the iconic music software – first launched in 2001 – had become dated, and people were now looking for new ways to effortlessly upload music to an obscure sub folder within a custom second-level directory they had never heard of.

“We know that people want to manage their music intuitively. But it’s more fun when your songs are randomly sorted into sub-genres that make sense only to us,” Cook said.

“With our new music apps, you’ll be able to instantly find the song you’re after – as well as a range of duplicate versions with slightly different names – with just six clicks”.

Cook said finding instructions on how to remove iTunes from devices was easy. “Just open iTunes, then when prompted enter the Apple ID belonging to a random member of your household, click on ‘Artists’, then connect your partner’s old iPhone, click on ‘Store’, then close iTunes, open it again and you’ll find the instructions waiting for you behind a password-controlled login that you set up in 2006. Simple”.

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