Nation Re-Elects Man Who Took A Piece Of Fucking Coal Into Parliament 

Australia has decided that the best man to lead the country is a man who took an actual pet rock into federal parliament.

He remains the only person to bring a piece of fossil fuel into parliament.

A former advertising executive and head of Tourism Australia, the man actually sourced a piece of coal, brought the piece of coal into parliament and handed around the piece of coal to his colleagues and friends.

The pet rock, which needs to be fed with subsidies in order to keep it alive, is expected to become a member of the government’s front bench, probably wearing a stupid fucking cap.

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