Barnaby Joyce Says He Bought $80Mil Of Water To Cure Thumping Hangover

By The Shovel on April 23, 2019

Former Agriculture and Water Minister Barnaby Joyce says the controversial $80 million purchase of water made by the government in 2017 was not for environmental reasons, but rather to try to rein in a raging Barnaby Joyce hangover.

Mr Joyce also confirmed that he bought another $80 million worth of water this morning after his ‘exciting’ interview on the ABC yesterday afternoon.

“When you’ve had a big day on the sauce you need to rehydrate quickly. And the best way to do that is with 29,000 gigalitres of water from the Murray Darling Basin. A couple of litres doesn’t hit the sides for me,” Mr Joyce said.

The former Deputy Prime Minister said it was a good deal for Queensland, but an even better deal for Barnaby Joyce. “Trust me, I was useless this morning. Thump, thump, thump. Just awful.

“People mess around with water bottles or glasses of water, but there’s nothing like a bulk water purchase through a government buy-back system to get things under control quickly”.

Mr Joyce blamed the $80 million price tag on Labor.