Woolworths Self Checkout Machines To Double As Pokies

woolworths self checkout

Customers at Woolworths will soon be able to gamble their entire weekly shop at the point of sale, in an innovative new strategy announced today.

Woolworths CEO Brad Banducci said new ‘double or nothing’ buttons would be rolled out on the company’s self checkout machines from next month.

“Now you can feed your family and your gambling addiction in one easy transaction,” he said, adding, “Although over time, the feeding your family bit might need to take a bit of a back seat”.

Mixing the company’s dual loves of fresh food and predatory gambling, 2% of customers will get their groceries for free, with the remainder losing their weekly shopping money.

Mr Banducci said staff would be on hand to help out with any technical issues and to collect intimate details about customers. “This is all about convenience. We want people to be in and out as slowly as possible”.

The machines will be installed in Australia’s poorest suburbs first, before being rolled out to other poor suburbs.

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Brett Naseby