Australia Secures Earlybird Bookings For Next Six US Wars

Malcolm Turnbull Trump

Australia has secured a cracking deal on future international conflicts, bulk-booking our spot in all US-led wars for at least the next three years.

Speaking to journalists today Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said, “We have a very clear moral obligation to stand shoulder to shoulder with the US against yet unspecified foes, to defend as yet unspecified principles, at yet to be arranged times and locations.

“Also, we got a terrific discount”.

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten backed the move but criticised the PM’s lack of commitment to the alliance, pointing out that 6 wars was unlikely to even get us through the Trump Presidency.