Fairfax Axes 1/4 Editorial Jobs: Promises “Australian Journalasm Wont Suffa”

fairfax job cuts

“All of our papers is in good hands,” says a statement released today by one of the two remaining employees at Fairfax Media.

The statement, hand-written on the back of an old envelope, reassured the public that the organisation’s reporting would continue to be “feerless, indapendant and, above all, real good”.

Fairfax CEO Greg Hywood could not be reached for comment, and instead released a statement which read: “I’m sorry, but you have reached today’s official announcement limit. To read more about what is ‘necessary to sustain high-quality journalism’ please subscribe – Now 25% off!”

Protests against the cuts have been met with solidarity across publishing outlets, with BuzzFeed’s team creating a, “Take This McChicken Quiz to Find Out Which 9 Publications You Should Boycott This Winter” post earlier today.

On the bright side, journalism graduates will remain unaffected by the government’s decision to lower the HELP repayment threshold, with none expected to meet the $42,000 per year income benchmark in their lifetimes.