Trump, Russia Dispel Collusion Rumours, In Carefully Crafted Joint Statement

Sean Spicer

The Trump campaign and the Russian administration have never worked together or spoken with each other, a carefully worded joint statement released to media today says.

Labeled ‘To be released when necessary’, the statement, dated October 2016, says that any notion that the two parties had spoken or in any way colluded was fanciful. “We hardly even knew the other existed,” the statement signed by both Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin reads.

Spokesman Sean Spicer said the fact that there were changes on the document tracked in both English and Russian was inconsequential. “Мы не имеем дело с русскими,” he told journalists in his trademark combative style.

“We haven’t been dealing with the Russians,” he continued, “And as the Russians will tell you in a media conference scheduled to start directly after this one, the Russians haven’t been dealing with us”.