Trump Watches Prostitutes Urinate On Oval Office, In Traditional Presidential Handover

oval office desk

In what has become an elegant and essential component of the presidential transition, new president Donald Trump oversaw the traditional ‘pissing on the Oval Office’ today, in a moving, if slightly unhygienic ceremony.

In what was described as an ‘intimate service’, Mr Trump swore in his Presidential Prostitutes, who will perform various duties for the President over the next four years. He sat in the Oval Office chair for the first time, to observe the special ceremony.

A spokesperson said it is a tradition that goes all the way back to Lincoln. The 45th President described the day as ‘just tremendous’ and ‘strangely arousing’.