Abbott To Present Royal Baby With Australia’s Very Best Piece Of Coal

coal is the future of humanity

Australia’s official gift to the new-born daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be the nation’s most beautiful piece of coal.

It is customary for Commonwealth nations to give an official gift to a new-born royal, and Prime Minister Tony Abbott said a fossil fuel was the obvious choice for Australia.

“Coal, of course, is the future of humanity. And while I don’t expect our little Charlotte to actually ever use this stunning piece as a source of power, in twenty or thirty years to come, when coal really begins to take off as an energy source, she can look at it and think ‘Australia was really ahead of its time’”.

Mr Abbott said the piece was ‘simply magnificent’. “I myself have a piece of coal on my mantelpiece, but it’s not half the specimen this is. It just sparkles from every angle”.

The coal will be presented in a beautiful display box made from handcrafted virgin Tasmanian rainforest.

For more breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter or sign up for email updates at the bottom of this page.