Unsighted For Months, Bill Shorten Reveals Brand New Look

bill shorten

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten wowed crowds in Canberra today, stepping out with a brand new look, almost a year after he disappeared from the public eye.

There was speculation that the slick new look may have been the result of plastic surgery. Although most observers said they could not remember what Mr Shorten looked like before, and were therefore unable to make a valid comparison.

“Yeah I reckon that’s Bill Shorten. If you say it is. The cheeks are a bit higher perhaps?” said one onlooker.

Mr Shorten wore his blonde hair in a wispy side-part, with a touch of mascara and pink lip gloss.

Shorten supporters said they hoped the outing today was a sign they would be seeing more of the Labor leader. “It’s great to have him back,” said one woman.

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2 Comments

  1. Mark Burley

    October 22, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Bill’s looking pretty good. The word on the street is that he was taken by a Chinese sub and has had plastic surgery. I don’t think that the surgery has made much difference to be honest. Hopefully he’s had some policy implants to make him more attractive.

  2. Michael Webb

    October 23, 2014 at 9:33 am

    I have it on good authority that Bill secured this fetching “coming-outfit” at a less-than-regal price from a recent garage-sale down at Yarralumla. Seems he still dresses on the Left…but only just?