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We’ll Help Fight Ebola If You Let Us Bomb It, Government Says

The Australian Government has told the international community that it is happy to help the fight against Ebola, as long as that fight involves F/A-18F Super Hornet jets.

“We never said no to help. We just haven’t been asked for the right kind of help yet,” a Government spokesperson said today. “The answer to the question ‘can you send medical teams?’ is ‘no’. The answer to the question ‘can you send fighter jets?’ is ‘when can we start?’”

bombebola

He said Ebola could be doing more to help its own cause. “It’s not terroristy enough. Put on a balaclava, post a few clips on YouTube and we’ll be on the next flight over”.

He said Ebola could be degraded and destroyed within months, given the right aircraft.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire news service. For more breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.


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