Scotland To Still Do Washing, Drop In For Occasional Meals In UK

scotland satire

Scotland will become independent, but still call in for a home-cooked dinner on a Sunday, its population confirmed today.

In the lead-up to a referendum on the issue, Scottish people said concerns that the country would make a clear break from the UK were unfounded. “We won’t be becoming strangers,” a spokesperson confirmed. “Hopefully we’ll keep our room set up there to store odds and ends. And we’ll need some place to do the laundry”.

The spokesperson said the country was looking forward to more independence. “We’ve got a mad house-warming party organised for the new place. But we’ll need to use the UK’s broadband to send out the invites, if that’s ok”.

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1 Comment

  1. Linda Whyte

    September 14, 2014 at 12:46 am

    They added, “And of course, you English and Welsh and Northern Irelanders feel free to drop in for the same treatment. But I’m sorry, we’re going to have to stop the pocket money that we’ve been giving you from the proceeds of our plentiful natural resources – you were squandering it anyway. And by the way, we really hope you’ll learn from us and treat each other more kindly. We’ll be getting rid of the need for food banks for a start. Anyway, better go; there’s work to be done quashing the lies and scaremongering of the Better Together campaign and the British press. BBC are first on the list!”