Abbott Commits To Cutting Australia’s Reputation By 30% By 2015

tony abbott satire

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has set an ambitious target to reduce the nation’s standing in the international community by almost a third over the next seven months.

The PM hit back at critics who suggested the status abatement target is too high, saying much of the work is already underway. “In just nine months in office we’ve already made great headway. This target is achievable, and under my watch, we’ll get there”.

Liberal Party sources say Mr Abbott has set himself a personal goal of reaching the target by the end of next week.

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11 Comments

  1. Jill

    June 8, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    Implying that the rest of the world haven’t thought of us drunken idiots.
    Also implying Australians give a sh#t what others think.

    • lel

      June 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      Implying you are a woman
      Implying anyone cares about 4chan
      Implying you have ever been there
      Implying this isn’t stupid

      • Jaz

        June 13, 2014 at 12:12 am

        You’re the one bringing up 4chan here.

  2. Matt

    June 9, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Un undisclosed source has reviewed this percentage is another lie from the Liberal government Sources have proof that the Abbott party are in retreat from the response to the budget , so figures have been softened, yes true Tony is responsible for 30% of cutting Australia’s reputation but Julie Bishop is now responsible for a further 28 % and Hockey for a whooping 42 % taking the world reputation cut to 90%, Tony assures us that this is not an Australian Reputation Tax, but will consider it in the next budget.

  3. Squirrel

    June 9, 2014 at 8:50 am

    I think he has already achieved that target.

  4. Deknarf

    June 9, 2014 at 9:56 am

    This will be the only promise that the Prime Winky Dill will keep!

  5. tono-bungay

    July 31, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    It’s irresponsible to set these targets, since Australia only has 1.5% of the world’s total reputation.

  6. Michael Schulz

    October 17, 2014 at 6:05 am

    Scott Morrison has refused point blank to respond to questions about Australia’s reputation overseas and has stated the he will inform the public on a need to know basis.
    George Brandis has asked for the names of journalists asking about Australia’s reputation and has threatened legal action over the breach of security.
    Peta Credlin sits in her designer rocking chair citing, “Boys will be boys”.

  7. Merella

    October 17, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I doubt anyone could argue that since June there has been an overwhelming acknowledgement nationally & internationally of Tony’s dedication, passion and downright leadership to in fact over achieve his target… A+ Does this mean he gets a pay rise?

  8. jones

    October 18, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Fes ability studies show that a shirt front levy would be viable providing the global community was on board..however some in the kremlin would strongly oppose due to current relations between Australia and the Russian Federation

  9. William Chaplin

    October 19, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I’m wondering which particular Muslim faith Tony has been indoctrinated into. With his actions the terrorists don’t need to invade Australia