Abbott Commits To Cutting Australia’s Reputation By 30% By 2015

tony abbott satire

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has set an ambitious target to reduce the nation’s standing in the international community by almost a third over the next seven months.

The PM hit back at critics who suggested the status abatement target is too high, saying much of the work is already underway. “In just nine months in office we’ve already made great headway. This target is achievable, and under my watch, we’ll get there”.

But some within the party say the target is an unnecessary burden, given Australia only accounts for 1.5% of the globe’s reputation. “Other countries are doing nothing to lower their reputation, so why should we?” one MP said

For breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter. Or sign up for email updates at the bottom of this page.


  1. Jill

    June 8, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    Implying that the rest of the world haven’t thought of us drunken idiots.
    Also implying Australians give a sh#t what others think.

    • lel

      June 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      Implying you are a woman
      Implying anyone cares about 4chan
      Implying you have ever been there
      Implying this isn’t stupid

      • Jaz

        June 13, 2014 at 12:12 am

        You’re the one bringing up 4chan here.

  2. Squirrel

    June 9, 2014 at 8:50 am

    I think he has already achieved that target.

  3. Deknarf

    June 9, 2014 at 9:56 am

    This will be the only promise that the Prime Winky Dill will keep!

  4. Michael Schulz

    October 17, 2014 at 6:05 am

    Scott Morrison has refused point blank to respond to questions about Australia’s reputation overseas and has stated the he will inform the public on a need to know basis.
    George Brandis has asked for the names of journalists asking about Australia’s reputation and has threatened legal action over the breach of security.
    Peta Credlin sits in her designer rocking chair citing, “Boys will be boys”.

  5. Merella

    October 17, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I doubt anyone could argue that since June there has been an overwhelming acknowledgement nationally & internationally of Tony’s dedication, passion and downright leadership to in fact over achieve his target… A+ Does this mean he gets a pay rise?

  6. William Chaplin

    October 19, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I’m wondering which particular Muslim faith Tony has been indoctrinated into. With his actions the terrorists don’t need to invade Australia