University Fees To Rise To $100k, Or 28,000 ‘Middies’

university fees

The cost of attending university in 2017 will be the equivalent to a big night out, according to financial modelling.

The Treasury department made the calculation, using the commonly accepted measurement of a glass of beer in New South Wales.

“Yes fees will go up,” a Government spokesperson said. “But what we’re saying to new students is ‘spend a night off the booze during O Week, and the fees will take care of themselves’”.

Treasurer Joe Hockey welcomed the analysis, pointing out that forgoing an imported Cuban cigar once a semester was another way of looking at the cost.

For breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter. Or sign up for email updates at the bottom of this page.


  1. Maybe Satire

    May 21, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Hey – have you been writing Joe’s speeches again?

  2. Jessica

    May 24, 2014 at 11:35 am

    I must say I’m still getting used to measuring things in the beer glasses’ system – I have to keep asking “what’s that in Olympic swimming pools?”