Poor People Scrapped

Joe hockey poor people scrapped

Australia’s poor will be abolished, as part of wide-ranging cuts announced in last night’s Federal budget.

Citing increasing cost pressures and a ballooning budget deficit, Treasurer Joe Hockey said the cuts were necessary to ensure Australia remained competitive. “We said we’re going to cut down on waste and that’s what we intend to do. Having poor people is an extravagance that, quite simply, we cannot afford. The age of entitlement is over”.

The abolished poor people will be used to make new roads.

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  1. Maybe Satire

    May 14, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Please don’t give Joe any ideas! Besides – he has to abolish the young also.

    • Kevin

      May 15, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      That’s what wars and extinguishing education are for. They are either dead, maimed or too dumb to notice.

  2. Swifty

    May 14, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Why, that’s a modest proposal:


  3. Caroline Storm

    May 14, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Sadness and helplessness prevail. One can’t satirize a tragedy causing, for hundreds of thousands, fear, hunger, pain, poor education, death from illness, death by suicide from the untreated mentally ill. All these will become apparent from ABS statistics in the next two years.
    As the old song goes, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer”.

    • Shmick

      May 14, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      Isn’t it “the rich get richer, the poor get the picture”?

      Love the Oils.

      • Samantha

        May 19, 2014 at 11:49 pm

        It’s the rich get rich and the poor have children

      • derek scott

        August 14, 2014 at 4:07 pm

        and don’t forget to ban solar and windpowerj joe remember you can’t sell that which is free!!!

    • Jan

      May 15, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      Caroline, I needed a laugh. A good respite from the crappy, inhumane policies of the LNP. I am guessing you know that the shovel has satire right through, so I would suggest staying away.

    • James

      May 16, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      Well, perhaps the author may choose to run all future stories by you before publishing them, just in case it doesn’t meet your requirements.

      I don’t understand why you’d read a satirical piece and then complain about the fact it’s satire. Did you consider just not reading it at all?

      It’s bad enough that so many people appear to think it’s real news, let alone people complaining that it isn’t real news…

  4. SImon

    May 14, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    There will be no more retirement age – just means-tested mandatory euthanasia. As soon as you’re unproductive, you’re dead to us – in every sense of the phrase.

    • Alison

      May 14, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      Simon,you’ve hit the nail right on the head.

      • Chris

        May 14, 2014 at 4:22 pm

        Yes that will be the way they do it.

  5. Vicki

    May 14, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    Yes Simon,
    Yhey will have to rethink euthanasia, won’t they? Can’t have the poor and starving stinking out land that could be redeveloped in no time flat. Did I hear your-name being called David Mariner?

  6. graham

    May 14, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    These idiots don’t know what day it is
    Job cuts will follow no one will have money to spend so their liberal small business mates will all go broke with no customers.

    They dismantle all the good things Medicare, school funding ,pensions and then Labor has to reopen them all again that’s WHY we have a deficit every time the libs get in

    There have been only TWO surpluses in 100 odd years by BOTH Governments look up the record books .

    What a crock

    Ah well that’s my 10 cents worth

  7. BC_Melb

    May 14, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    They did that in Russia – Road of Bones.


  8. Michelle Ambrose

    May 14, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    A Federal ICAC will sort out Hockey and wipe the smirk off Abbotts face

  9. James

    May 14, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Does this mean the new roads will be carbon neutral if they recycle poor people as road-base?

    • Tara

      May 15, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      Hahaha good one James! 🙂

  10. Mohan

    May 14, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Getting mad is not enough. Fightingback is most important if society is not to be reduced to savagery.

  11. Debra

    May 14, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Theres only “x” amount of dollars printed, so the rich only get richer if the poor get poorer…so lets us poor people all disappear and the rich will have to devour each other….lol

    P.S. stop funding the so called “Arts” and put that money into health or education, assholes

    • Tara

      May 15, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      I totally agree! Health and education are so much more important than the “arts”! I went to a private school for most of my childhood, it focussed too much on “art” and neglected the students who did not fit their definition of “artistic”, the primary school teachers were so incompetent, I basically had to teach myself to read and everything. I have heard a lot of similar stories from students that have come from other Steiner schools around the country, I even met a 17 year old girl, who was illiterate, because the teachers thought it was more important to nurture her artistic skills than to teach her to read. It disgusts me that these schools are getting away with providing this type of “education” or what I’d call lack of education and I think it needs to be looked into ASAP!

      • Max

        May 19, 2014 at 11:56 pm

        To me it sounds like you’re just bitter that you couldn’t finger paint as well as the other kids. Sounds like you did it pretty tough going to your fancy private arts school.

        Cutting arts funding will just make Australia EVEN MORE of a cultural wasteland than it already is. Art is an important part of education and an important part of what makes up society and culture. If you don’t have a society or culture then what do you do anything for?

  12. Jane

    May 15, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    Don’t like the budget people? Then bloody March! This Sunday! Show yourselves and the mainstream media won’t be able to ignore or sneer at it like last time.

    • James

      May 19, 2014 at 7:24 am

      Why is getting the attention of the mainstream media is so important to you?

      Liberal haters (as opposed to the more rational and reasonable ‘bad policy haters’) who ended up marching, spend an awful lot of time complaining about the very existence of the MSM, yet seem utterly desperate to be recognised and approved of by the MSM…

      Hypocritical much?

  13. Alejandro

    May 15, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Whilst I don’t agree with every part of the budget(the seniors pension part in particular) the amount of whinging being done here is amazing. So people under 30 have to study or get a job. So what. There is heaps and heaps and heaps of terrible jobs out there going begging that are easy to get if you really want to work. I know, I have quit plenty of them in my time. This sense of entitlement is astounding and frankly embarrassing.
    As an aside I don’t necessarily agree with someone not being eligible for Newstart immediately, I think everyone should get it when required but then it is cut off after 6-12 months if they haven’t got a good reason for not being in work or study. I have a suspicion however even that level of safety net would be howled down by certain segments of the community. And before people start saying how that will send us down the American route lets remember the minimum wage in Australia is at least enough to live on. So you can always go get a job as a cleaner tomorrow and survive(albeit not well) unlike in the USA where you may be working but still in poverty.

    • roy

      May 17, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      So what, that’s exactly what I’ll say if your house gets burgled or you get mugged by some desperate under 30 who is too lazy to get a job. Ignorant moron.

      • Alejandro

        May 19, 2014 at 7:04 pm

        Nice one Roy…exactly the sort of attitude that keeps this handout culture alive. Says a lot about you that you would somehow think my house burning down would be just desserts because some moron is too lazy or deluded and think they are somehow above a certain type of employment…and somehow it is my fault they are forced into a life of crime because they don’t want to scrub toilets.

    • Stef

      May 18, 2014 at 9:55 am

      It’s not about studying or getting a job. The government expects people to live off absolutely nothing! Some parents have nothing so they can’t help out. How are they suppose to get an education with cuts to education if they are unable to find a job? Sounds fair…

      • Alejandro

        May 19, 2014 at 7:13 pm

        I do believe centrelink payments should be more, but they should be far stricter on who gets it. Those who deserve it get enough to live. As for getting an education I don’t think any of the proposed cuts should matter, find a course and enrol, get a part time job and live in a share house. Plenty of people manage to do this and so can you.

  14. Leila

    May 15, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    Individual welfare was unfairly targeted when corporate welfare could have done with an overhaul. We shall judge Tony and Joe on how they have mistreated the poorest in our society.

  15. K

    May 15, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    its time to tear these people down !! cash rich need to learn a lesson… and what makes me sick is its the working class idiots that vote for this!!!

  16. marion Phillips

    May 16, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    I have emailed JOE, asking for heroin or nembutal and he would have one less pensioner, no reply yet.

    • Tez

      May 18, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      Oh, I wish there was a like button I could press – this comment is THE best. Think I’ll follow suit and email Joe for some Nembutal. Bet he won’t reply to me either.

  17. Tez

    May 18, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Just found, and followed, your blog. It’s wonderful!

  18. John Ward (@detonatoa)

    May 19, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    Ward The big lie comes up repeatedly in any kind of political discourse about the causes of the 2008 global economic meltdown. Liberals such as our small minded corporatists and free-marketeers use the lie to defend their favoured policies of cutting spending on infrastructure, healthcare, education and welfare in the name of “austerity”. The lie goes along the lines of:
    We have spent too much on infrastructure, healthcare, education and welfare and has borrowed excessively to pay for it, creating the budget deficit and increasing the national debt. The only way to to reduce the deficit is to cut government spending.
    The first fault in the theory is that the economic crisis and subsequent rises in government debts were not caused by excessive government borrowing, they were caused by reckless lending to speculators (punters) in the financial sector.
    The problem with the short term thinking regarding large across the board cuts in government investment, is that in many cases it creates false economies, e.g, the support for the less well off and unemployed is a stimulus that the Government “claws back in taxes almost immediately, but reducing that flow, means lots of businesses will be hurt by the drop in cash flow. Unfortunately the Government wants to see its own numbers go down and ignore the adverse consequences of the harm they pass on to business.
    In fact, studies show that increases in the minimum wage actually puts more money in the pockets of people who then spend it — resulting in more jobs and counteracting any negative employment effects of an increase in the minimum wage.
    Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley — Arindrajit Dube, T. William Lester and Michael Reich — have compared adjacent counties and communities across the United States, some with higher minimum wages than others but similar in every other way.

    They found no loss of jobs in those with the higher minimums.
    The truth is, the lurch toward widening inequality can be reversed. But doing so will require bold political steps.

    At the least, the rich must pay higher taxes in order to fund better-quality education for kids from poor and middle-class families. Unions must be strengthened, especially in lower-wage occupations, in order to give workers the bargaining power they need to get better pay. And the minimum wage must be raised.
    Don’t listen to the right-wing lies about inequality. Know the truth, and act on it.

  19. sozsatire

    May 21, 2014 at 1:24 am

    Blimey! You Aussies really take your satire seriously don’t you guys? Whenever I post a skit all I get in the way of feedback is a kind of sullen, dumb insolence occasionally interspersed with the odd attractive female admirer who wants my phone number…The last bit isn’t wholly true incidentally.
    Yours etc
    Desperate But Not Bitter Of East London
    The Old Country.

    • James (another one)

      May 21, 2014 at 7:48 pm

      Yeah, i think it’s a shame when people can’t appreciate satire for what it is, and have to spoil it by ranting about reality. I am not sure what exactly it says about Australia, but whatever it is, can’t be good.

  20. Carl

    August 14, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Let’s not forget that they’ll be the roads of the 21st century.

  21. Steph Christy

    August 14, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    This smug creature makes me want to puke. I hope a bird drops a turd on your car.

    • James

      August 15, 2014 at 2:45 am

      Oh dear, another person who is totally lacking the ability to understand the concept of satire… I hope such a species cannot breed, or we’re all in trouble.

  22. Imzi

    August 15, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Why don’t u put a 2% tax increase on the banks, u will get $160 mil from the commbank alone, oh wait u can’t, they will stick a 12″ pole up ur ass without even lubeing it

  23. nursejane

    August 15, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Don’t you just hate it when the poor people need to be considered?!