Australia To Reinstate Imperial Measurement System

tony abbott satire

Australia will revert to using miles, ounces, yards and furlongs next year, more than 40 years after the imperial system was first phased out in favour of metric measurements.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott made the announcement late yesterday as part of his broader plan to return to colonial era thinking.

“Too often we cast tradition aside without due consideration to the impact it has on our social fabric,” Mr Abbott said in a speech to Parliament. “This is a natural step, an important step in our future as a nation”.

Mr Abbott, who said he had been considering the change for some time, pointed out that many Australians already regularly use the imperial system. He joked that Senator George Brandis had recently asked him to guess how many yards of bookshelf space he has. “I guessed two hundred, which, as it turns out, was miles off,” Mr Abbott said to laughter.

The correct length is 28 chains.

While the cost for changing existing infrastructure, such as road signage, could run into the thousands of pounds, Mr Abbott said it would be money well spent.

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  1. Sirius Winchester

    March 26, 2014 at 1:58 am

    I can’t believe that, is he really that idiotic?

    He wants to change the measurement system to an outdated system that makes no sense to anyone, including himself; use thousands of taxpayers dollars to change everything from Metric to imperial; and states that “many Australians already regularly use the imperial system”, sure, if you’re over 40-45.

    I’m really confused where he believes that this would be a good idea.

    • Chappy Thunderhoof

      March 26, 2014 at 7:43 am

      Surely you can’t be Sirious?

      • Jed

        March 26, 2014 at 8:18 am

        I think Sirious is serious

      • Ally

        March 26, 2014 at 8:55 am

        surely you both didn’t seriously spell sirius wrong when it’s right in front of you?

      • Andrew

        March 26, 2014 at 12:16 pm

        Not sure if he is Sirious, but he is Sirius.

      • stephenrv7

        March 26, 2014 at 5:10 pm

        I am and stop calling me Shirley.

    • Matt

      March 26, 2014 at 10:18 am

      I agree!
      Why would we go back to the imperial system?!
      This is an outrage!
      We need to go back further…handbreadth,reed,stadion, and don’t forget Sabboth Days Journey!

      Do you actually think this is serious?
      Come on mate!

      • Mark penkonitix

        March 26, 2014 at 12:45 pm

        You’re kidding aren’t you Matt? You do know The Shovel is a satirical newspaper don’t you? That means everything it publishes is a joke……you knew that right? You were going along with the joke weren’t you? 🙂

      • Amy

        March 26, 2014 at 4:54 pm

        Yeah, Mark Penkonitix, he was going along with the joke. He said so right in his post.

        The irony that YOU missed HIS sarcasm is delicious.

        The fact that you were so smug after apparently having read only the first few words of his post is even better.

    • dyslexicstoner240

      March 26, 2014 at 10:35 am

      “use thousands of taxpayers dollars to change everything from Metric to imperial”

      Thousands of POUNDS, thank you very much. Get your commie AUDs out of here.

      • Pierce Brosnan

        March 26, 2014 at 11:27 pm

        Actually, it still would be dollars – the dollar came about in far away colonies (such as Australia, Canada, and what became the US) where it was difficult to get real Sterling.

      • jad81887

        July 30, 2014 at 6:20 pm

        Rum by gum.

    • joe foley

      March 26, 2014 at 11:20 am

      no mate not 40 to 45.. over 60 you might have familiarity with imperials [how old are you?] anyway this has to be a spoof

    • Donna Driver

      March 26, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      I can believe it, either!

      Oh! My! Gosh! Mr Abbot, do some real work that serves our country rather than continues to drain it of finances that could be put to better use elsewhere! You know, somewhere like hospitals, cancer research, and so on.

      Remember who you’re working for, Mr Abbot. Serve this nation well.

    • Michael Morton-Evans

      March 26, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      You say it makes no sense. In fact the metric system makes no sense. The old system is based on a very simple system. One foot equals the length of a man’s foot. Three of these makes a yard. Half of one of these is six inches. Now tell me, how do you measure a metre without a ruler?

      • Jordan

        March 27, 2014 at 6:52 pm

        So who’s foot should we use? Based on your understanding of the imperial system one of your yards is probably a lot smaller than one of my yards. The old system did well between inches, feet and yards but it was totally confusing when it came to miles it just made everything a lot more difficult to accurately measure without instruments. The metric system is so much more simple, easily converted into smaller units and more universally used, not to mention the last 40 years of primary and secondary school students in Australia will only be familiar with the metric system! The ‘benefits’ of going back in time are far outweighed by the costs – millions of dollars.

      • Salmon

        March 27, 2014 at 9:53 pm

        And inches were based on the size of your member, I assume?

      • Holly

        March 28, 2014 at 5:50 am

        Actually, you can measure a metre without a ruler. The current definition is: “The meter is the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299 792 458 of a second.” Not saying it is easy… But it’s not just a random number of a guy’s foot anymore.

      • Clayton

        March 28, 2014 at 10:51 am

        Actually the metric system makes complete sense. 1000 millilitres of water weighs 1000 grams and takes up 1000 cubic centimetres of space.

    • Bella

      March 27, 2014 at 12:17 am

      Try over 50!

    • AbbottFan69

      March 27, 2014 at 1:02 am

      Yeah dude this is 100% Sirius

      I am quite looking forward to it actually!!

    • Bob Henderson

      March 28, 2014 at 12:18 pm

      Wow this is good now I’ll know what I weigh again never took to those old kilogrammes…

    • wendy

      March 28, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      WHY??????? I was 6 years old when Sterling changed to $$$$ and was 7yrs old, learning METRIC!!!!!! This was in 1967!!!! WHY?????
      Not only antiquated but WHY????? And the money required to changed everything back!!!!!??????

      • Bigot

        March 28, 2014 at 4:17 pm

        Wendy, scroll down to the very bottom of the page and read what it says on the right hand side. 😉

  2. Luke

    March 26, 2014 at 2:27 am

    It’s a few days too early for an April fools joke.

    • daniel

      March 26, 2014 at 7:42 am

      Well i agree with Luke, but not in this case because Abbott’s always a fool.

    • Murf

      March 26, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      Are you using the Julian Calendar or the Gregorian??

    • Songs

      March 28, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      Luke, with Abbott, *every* day is April fools- only the question is, is it Abbott or the constituency that is tolerating his behaviour that is the fool?

  3. stephenm

    March 26, 2014 at 3:06 am

    Will spent? Try well spent. Nah, don’t do that. Because it isn’t.

    • The Shovel

      March 26, 2014 at 7:41 am

      You’re probably right, but we made the correction anyway. Thanks.

  4. Jed

    March 26, 2014 at 8:08 am

    I don’t think he’s gone far enough. Australia should take Scotland’s place if they vote for independence in September. Stops the republican, flag and national anthem debate in one move.

  5. Jess

    March 26, 2014 at 8:24 am

    It’s called satire geniuses.

  6. Eric Smith

    March 26, 2014 at 8:30 am

    Love it!

    You guys are the Kings of Satire… might I see even better than the Onion… LOL

    • Patricjk

      March 27, 2014 at 8:09 pm

      the onion is nothing on the shovel, said one farmer.

      The onion is just some ridiculous notion, posted as a headline, the shovel has witty satire through out.

  7. Nathan

    March 26, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Does Tony Abbott realise the real cost associated with this tranistion. Not only does he have to change road signs but ALL of us australians who are already struggling now have to convert our cars to run on MPH which is a costly conversion. Get a grip Abbott. You wonder why you are only going to be a one term PM

    • Maybe Satire

      March 26, 2014 at 10:34 am

      On the other hand, it could be satire – though it is reveling how many believe it.

      • Sir Albot

        March 26, 2014 at 9:31 pm

        I think he does get the joke….the fact that it is going to cost us more to run our cars in MPH would make that evident. That said, what a wonderful example of Poes Law.

    • Brendon

      March 26, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      I live in pristine original house looking the way it did when it was built in 1964 and I drive a 1968 Holden Kingswood. Driving with my MPH speedometer is gonna be soo much easier now! I’ve been waiting for this for over 40 years! And I’m only 29…

    • Nathan

      March 26, 2014 at 10:32 pm

      I think tony is the best pm we have had since john Howard all you labor supporters should be ashamed of yourself and I bet if your parents knew they would flog your bum

  8. Murf

    March 26, 2014 at 8:51 am

    What’s all this talk of “pounds”? Surely it is “Royals”.

    • Richard27

      March 26, 2014 at 10:24 am

      For those under the age of 60 – The Royal was seriously proposed in the mid-1960s as the name for Australia’s decimal currently unit. I’m afraid this is true.

      • Roger

        March 26, 2014 at 2:54 pm

        “We’ll never be Royal!”. Cause Lorde said so…

    • Murf

      March 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm

      You can’t use ‘Royal’ Murf, that was a ‘decimal’ alternative to the Dollar, (Hey, I can’t be talking to myself here…..Can I? I’m Murf

  9. Alias

    March 26, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Everyone, this is a dig on the news that the PM will be reinstating Imperial Honours (such as Dames and Knights) in Australia. He made the announcement yesterday at Governor-General Bryce’s handover.

  10. RJ

    March 26, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Gee this is stupendously stupid as if anyone with the ability to use acomputer would take this as serious

    • Bigot

      March 26, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      Well, now we know how the dickhead got elected, don’t we.

      • Andrew

        March 26, 2014 at 7:15 pm

        You mean, now we know why the other dickhead got 47% of the vote despite being the pat of the worse govt ever. Because there are so many dickheads that actually believe crap like this.

      • talleyrand

        March 27, 2014 at 5:03 pm

        Andrew good on you afraid many never knew we worked in imperial since Cpt Phillip set up camp, measurements ,distance so and so on ,then changed to the system imposed by Napoleon on Europe on the 1700s,but like you agree that the above mentioned will never accept any idea other than those espoused by failed union leaders and shonky shyster lawyers not voted in by the majority of the citizens of Australia

    • Philthy

      March 27, 2014 at 12:28 am

      I only use bcomputer nowdays and yet I still take this inconceivably seriously.

  11. Pip

    March 26, 2014 at 10:24 am

    These types of websites are so misleading. How many people comment on the article or read their comments before scrolling to the bottom and reading the line about the site being satire? Many people wouldn’t even notice that line. Especially if they came to the article from posts on Facebook or twitter like sites.

    • Brent

      March 26, 2014 at 11:06 am

      If people randomly believe stuff on the Internet without understanding its source, … they’re gonna have a baaaaaaaad time.

      • Lil John

        March 27, 2014 at 7:49 am

        Oooh you know they have the internet on computers now

    • Brendon

      March 26, 2014 at 3:34 pm

      I like commenting on serious comments as though I were serious myself!

    • Josh

      March 27, 2014 at 1:02 am

      Serves you right for being a gullible idiot?

  12. Andrea

    March 26, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Pip – satire is usually so exaggerated that you suspect immediately that it is a joke. But with this government, some of their pronouncements are so extreme that it is hard to know the difference. I would have taken the article about reintroducing knighthoods and damehoods as satirical if I hadn’t seen it in The Age first.

  13. Andrea

    March 26, 2014 at 11:20 am

    The Abbott government has made life very difficult for satirists:
    See “Carlo’s Corner: I give up, this government has satire nailed”

  14. admo

    March 26, 2014 at 11:34 am

    i agree with Lord Tony,

    i am a professional drug dealer and i have always used ounces and pounds for my business.

    great stuff from Lord Tony, great to see you supporting my business model.

    • John Carr

      March 26, 2014 at 1:02 pm

      No no no, then we can’t argue about “my ounces are 28 grams dude, it’s a better deal”… hehe

  15. Bigot

    March 26, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Look, I er think, I er think, think this is that this er is er what people, er people want, er it’s in our er mandate er that we er were voted in er on er on and er I’m also er looking er looking at the er um er possibility er um of um reequiping our er brave military er with er pikes and um er swords and swords and reassigning our er er erdefence to squadrons of er um angels. I’m told that er our um agricultural sector er is um suggesting er a return er to animal skin er clothing er and we er are um looking at this er very interesting proposal er very er closely. Er ug, grunt grunt wup wuperug.

  16. Ian

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    I hope if we are reverting back to old time measurements we can revert back to old time decent motoring laws and stop this blatant targeting of motoring enthusiasts in Queensland. Next step is to get rid of Campbell Newman!!!

  17. Paul

    March 26, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Almost a week too early. April Fools day is next Tuesday. You did manage to fool a few of the more gullible!
    Ah, The Shovel! The perfect tool for shifting bullshit.

  18. Lozza

    March 26, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    this will cost the country BILLIONS of dollars to implement. all signage, school text books, maps etc, etc, etc will have to be replaced. what the hell is this dumb fucker thinking? i don’t know who-all were the idiots that voted this twat in, but here is your reward. i hope you live to choke on it.

  19. ft

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    There are so many dumb people on here thinking this is a serious article!
    Australia is NOT going back to the imperial system!

    • Bigot

      March 27, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Oh, there there. Come on, ft, don’t be a silly. It’ll be alright; won’t hurt a bit. And dear old St Anthony will give us all a sweetie to make it better.

  20. Paul

    March 26, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    The kids would have to learn arithmetic again. Twelve times tables etc. This can only be a good thing.

  21. jim

    March 26, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    The Shovel? I think that it’s being used here! Strange that this is the only place that this has been mentioned on. No other news media has carried it. BULLDUST!!

    • HAha

      March 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      Funny how you had time to check every other “news media” but not the sense to realise the fact that you were on a satire website?

      • jim

        March 26, 2014 at 7:52 pm

        Come on, I’m not that stupid as some are here. Didn’t you see my comment was TIC??

    • Daniel

      March 26, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      You must be a genius for discovering that no other news source has mentioned an article from a satirical news website..

  22. Stephen

    March 26, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Surely it’s not April 1 yet. Still remember the great ABC April Fool story of years ago about the metric 10 hour day

  23. Jc

    March 26, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Funny seeing the true intelligence of all the abbott haters

    • ME

      March 26, 2014 at 1:51 pm


    • Surely not

      March 26, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      Surely you aren’t insinuating that ALL people who are against Tony Abbott are ALL dumb? I mean, that would be akin to saying that MORE THAN HALF of Australia is retarded for voting in a F***knuckle like High Priest Lord Tony. And we wouldn’t want anybody to draw that conclusion would we? If we were to, we would have to conclude that EVERYBODY in Australia is thicker than Clive Palmer’s chin as Australia is divided into those that like Tony, and those that despise the cow turd that currently holds the office of PM. I hope I have made my side of the fence clear. Stop insulting our country.

      • Andrew

        March 26, 2014 at 7:24 pm

        he’s not insulting our country, he’s insulting the stupid F***knuckles that live in our country, the 35% that voted for a bigger self centred cow turd despite said cow turd helping to stuff up the country for 6 years. Then there’s the 12% that voted for the biggest cow turds of the lot despite the fact that they couldn’t run a chook raffle and have no idea of economic reality.

      • Ruth

        April 2, 2014 at 3:58 pm

        I graduated with HDs from uni. How could I believe this? It follows a trend of “back to the future” that this government is instituting, and given the wonderfully regressive acts performed so far, this is quite feasible as the next lunatic act of this seriously flawed individual.

  24. Harry

    March 26, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!

  25. Private

    March 26, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    oh wow Australia, look at what type of idiot you’ve elected, one to cut $2.3B on schooling only to change the metric unit to imperial again. Well Done, the richer get rich, the poorer get poor scheme is in place.

  26. Mark

    March 26, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    Gimme 5 bees for a quarter you’d say!

  27. Adam

    March 26, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    For having ears that big he doesn’t really have anything between them. He obviously has no idea how terrible our Education system is. Most kids can’t even use the measurement system we have now and he wants to change to an even more complicated one. Great idea.

  28. jedics

    March 26, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    haha. I guess with all the bs Abbott n co have been pulling I can almost see why so many people think this is real. sort of shows how backwards he really is and/or how gullible the average Australian is. goes a long way to explaining how he got voted in to.

    • Andrew

      March 26, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Wow jedic, the people that think this is true hate abbott so obviously didn’t vote for him. So how do you reach your conclusion. What it explains is how the ALP got 47% of the vote. People are so bloody dumb they actually believe scare campaigns about stupid crap like this.

      • Jc

        March 26, 2014 at 8:50 pm

        Right on!

      • Lord Haw Haw of Effingham

        March 27, 2014 at 2:16 pm

        Andrew, is your surname Bolt?

      • Bigot

        March 27, 2014 at 11:31 pm

        Yes, Andrew, you’re right because the libs had the most intense and relentless campaign of lies, deceit and downright bullying I’ve witnessed almost ever. AND I’m NOT a labour supporter, but a natural liberal. He has to go and we have to radically rethink the voting system in this backwater of a nation.

  29. albyo

    March 26, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    What a dick head we ausie prefer the metric system. If changing to imperial system this will require the change in textbook car speedo etc. I tell you what abbot if you want to use imperial you can step down from PM and migrate to a country that uses imperial. To make it more simple “You don’t like the Australian way then you can just FUCK OFF!!!”

    • james

      October 7, 2014 at 11:49 am

      excuse me.. I am Canadians… we Canadians hates metric.. we decided to have imperial system back so Australia do samething.. this is ENGLISH POWER! not fucking asia, Europeans and so on…! ENGLISH POWER AND ENGLISH IMPERIAL SYSTEMS POWER!!!!!

  30. Tyniel Amy Sims

    March 26, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    Oh for crying out loud, I’m really getting sick of this moron, if he really thinks we aussies are gonna take this lying down he’s got brain damange up the wazoo. We gotta kick this A-hole out ASAP, what the f*ck were you thinking Australia!??

    • Andrew

      March 26, 2014 at 7:29 pm

      You believe this BS Tyniel and you think he’s got brain damage. I doubt you even have a brain to damage.

      • Bigot

        March 27, 2014 at 11:51 pm

        Well, Andrew, you certainly haven’t.

  31. Phil

    March 26, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    whats next ? …. phase out dvd’s for vhs … phase out cd’s and bring back cassettes? …. this guy is a retard….seriously mentally impaired..HOW THE HELL DID HE GET ELECTED ?????

    • Andrew

      March 26, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      You actually believe this story, and you think hes a retard.

      • Bigot

        March 27, 2014 at 11:58 pm

        Hey, Andy, stop and think.

    • Nic

      March 27, 2014 at 11:29 am

      VHS? Surely Beta!

      • Al

        March 28, 2014 at 1:29 am

        Maybe Laserdisc, if we want to go halvsies.

  32. Andrew

    March 26, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    I actually think some of the people commenting on here believe this story, and you still think the dumb people vote coalition

    • Bigot

      March 28, 2014 at 12:06 am

      You know you’re being wound up and taken for a ride, don’t you? But that’s OK because Tony loves you like all good… well, they just love… things… and people… don’t they. So, come to Tony, and following government policy, it’ll be just between you and him because of operational, on-water matters.

  33. Kosh

    March 26, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    If you believe this pile of crap you are beyond gullible.

  34. Just sayin

    March 26, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    Just gonna throw this out there.

    If you honestly believe that this is legit, you need to run for parliament. You’d fit right in with the last lot that fucked the country (read Labor).

    Just sayin

    • Jc

      March 26, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      Everyone who hates abbott believes this story..
      Makes sense.. Retards..

      • Bigot

        March 29, 2014 at 12:05 am

        Ah, you’d be the Jc St Tony genuflects to… except, I think the real Jc would at least understand the construction of an ellipsis. Do I detect one of those signature, blank, Abbott-like grins as he scrambles to regain an understanding of human language? Know where you’re coming from, Jc.

    • Tery

      March 27, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      Some people would beleive everything they read on the internet. Some told me the other day it’s not the poliies that are the problem it’s the majority of the australian public that’s just dumb

  35. Jooley

    March 26, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    Reading all the comments has been as entertaining as the article! Thanks everyone 🙂

  36. Michael McKavanagh

    March 26, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    Australia will revert to using dial up modems, bbs systems and even carrier pidgeons, many years after these systems were first phased out in favour of modern communication technology.

    Prime Minister Tony Abbott made the announcement late yesterday as part of his broader plan to return to ‘a simpler way of life’.

    “Too often we cast tradition aside without due consideration to the impact it has on our social fabric,” Mr Abbott said in a speech to Parliament. “This is a natural step, an important step in our future as a nation”.

    Mr Abbott, who said he had been considering the change for some time, pointed out that many Australians already regularly use carrier pidgeons with USB sticks strapped to their legs. He also joked that Senator George Brandis had recently asked him to guess the speed of his current data communications. “I was actually suprised it even worked, which, as it turns out, was pretty close to the truth,” Mr Abbott said to laughter.

    The correct speed was 28 baud.

    While the cost for changing existing infrastructure, such as ripping out fibre optic cables and re-purposing modern data centres, could run into the millions, Mr Abbott said it would be money well spent.

    • aleanbh

      March 27, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      Did he not also say he would abolish megashare (and any other way of downloading films that I haven’t heard of) and embark on a nationwide, “nation-building infrastructure project” to re-build drive-in movie theatres in every LGA?

  37. Michelle taheny

    March 26, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Good does this mean we can finally go back to a dial up Internet connection because I’m all for making people get landlines again. Hopefully Tony will ban computers after 6 pm too.

  38. Earl

    March 26, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    I dig Imperial measurements. Furlongs, fathoms, yards and pounds, so much more poetic.

    • Bigot

      March 27, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      And you can ‘deep six’ a government. My preferred service provider.

  39. Jonnylongprong

    March 26, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Well that’s just great! I just bought two double Flemish ells of social fabric….the impact on that is going to be ENORMOUS!!!!

  40. Stuart

    March 27, 2014 at 12:09 am

    I think this is great. It makes it quicker to drop the kids off at school. As it stands, they’re almost 5km from home, but if we go back to imperial it’s about 3 miles, which is great. Should be a quicker trip and we’ll have less stress in the morning.

  41. Marion mundana

    March 27, 2014 at 12:22 am

    This has to be some sort of Joke! the on,y thing more stupid than this suggestion is the fact that people voted Tony abbot in. australia is the laughing stock of the world. this government just relies on the fact that increasingly australians, like americans have abosultely no idea of what goes on outside their own country, and accept their skewed, sick agenda as the ‘norm’ . As a teacher I can tell you thst reverting to the old system would bring numeracy levels RIGHT down. (By the way I am over 50 and have never used the old system)

    • Jc

      March 27, 2014 at 6:53 am

      It would be beneficial to the children of australia if you stop teaching immediately.. You are dumb.

    • chris griffiths

      March 27, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      If you are way over 50 and have never used the old system, you must have been a very dumb kid or are now suffering from dementia as decimal currency didn’t come in until 1966 and the metric changeover wasn’t until the 70s. Either way, I feel sorry for the kids you teach.

      • chris griffiths

        March 27, 2014 at 8:19 pm

        I see my error, “by the way’ not “way over” but still, even if you are only 51, my point is still valid.

    • Bigot

      March 27, 2014 at 11:37 pm

      Try it, kid; it’s interesting and it works unless you’re NASA trying to put things into space. Yeah, like Americans.

  42. Gavin Robinson

    March 27, 2014 at 12:27 am

    Well if he is going to do that, let us bring back a few other things like Hanging…..we could start with him. what a complete fool and what a utter failure this man truly is.

    How about he starts looking after the weak and fail in our country or even the fact that we should be saving jobs in our country before you worry about this or other things.

    Another article I was just was reading in regards to this fool bringing back Knights and Dames into our system….Gina want title? or is Murdoch wanting to be a sir? This Country needs a government that looks after the citizens not how the politicians can be payed so much for nothing.

  43. DIO

    March 27, 2014 at 12:58 am

    I am happy to tell you that this is my last e-mail.
    In Greece we will soon revert to values lost years ago, thus returning back to hand writing and sending by proper mail.
    There is also a government guide line that all our mails should be sent by simple land mail and not by the more advanced air-mail.
    My next post here will be in about 120 to 150 days depending on the weather. Sailing boats are hard to navigate without any modern equipment (mainly without a compass)

  44. Mister Donut

    March 27, 2014 at 2:03 am

    Another attempt to imitate the online hit “The Onion”. This shovel thing needs to be buried. Haha.

  45. Jamison Whitehorse

    March 27, 2014 at 2:32 am

    Thank you, Thank you all (well, not all, but you know who you are. If you don’t then… well, that is probably likely actually. As you were!). Your comments have created a new level of satire the author never dreamt of. I am quite entertained yet saddened.

    I blame facebook links for attracting just the right crowd of commentor.

  46. Oxshark

    March 27, 2014 at 4:47 am

    The comments are funnier than the article.

  47. Felicity Long

    March 27, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Hell no!!! This SHOVEL website needs to stay exactly where it is lol
    What they need to do is making it more OBVIOUS that this entire website is MADE-UP

    Having said that.. This article must have hit a nerve in Canberra as it was shut down for more then 24 hrs.
    Now i am currently living in canada.. Within two hours of me reading the article it disappeared from the internet.. This entire website was shut down except for the home page.

    For this website to be taken down, there has to be some measure of truth to it, which is a little unnerving..
    If they did do something like this.. It would not be overnight, it would take time..

    • aleanbh

      March 27, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Mr Donut was making a comparion to the Onion. Re-read his post then you will get what he means. The last thing this website needs is anything indicating that it is made up. It is satire!!! Australians are pretty okay at satire.

  48. Alison Chainy

    March 27, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Luckily for everybody here in Australia, surveyors might get more business out of this. We’ll be getting calls left right & centre to convert 66 feet into metres. Which, I’ll have you know, is 20.117m or 1 chain or 100links or the width of a road or a length of a cricket pitch… Amazing!

    • Bigot

      March 27, 2014 at 11:40 pm

      Chainy? Love it 🙂

  49. DerekT

    March 27, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Such intellect, such cunning !

  50. nomlette

    March 27, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Now I won’t need to look up imperial to metric conversions on google anymore!
    Cooking is going to be so much easier now.