Fiona Nash Says She’s Had A Glass-And-A-Half Full™ Of Conflict Of Interest Accusations

fiona nash satire

Describing the situation as nothing more than a “media Picnic™”, Assistant Health Minister Fiona Nash has angrily denied claims her former chief of staff was compromised in his role as a lobbyist for confectionery giant Cadbury.

“It’s ridiculous to suggest there’s any kind of conflict here. Labor is simply looking for a Boost™ in the polls,” she said in a media release this afternoon. “I’ve dealt with the Assorted™ claims and, quite frankly, there’s nothing to them. The media is simply playing Favourites™ here”.

In the statement, Senator Nash conceded it would be a “Rocky Road™” ahead, but said she was confident she would clear her name. “Right now I just need some Time Out™” she said.

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  1. Avatar

    Florence Howarth

    March 5, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Do Cadbury’s make rocky road?

  2. Avatar


    March 6, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Nash must be annoyed by the derision coming from the Flakes on the cross-benches. Everything would be coming up Roses, if it wasn’t for Furnival’s past. Pity he had to leave, as Alister was one of her Favourites. If this gets any worse, she could be thrown in the Clink(er). She could do with a nut-free defence by her party leader, but that is just a Dream. Unfortunately she only has Abbott who is likely to say life is just a Milk Tray box of chocolates.

  3. Avatar

    Steve Jasper

    March 6, 2014 at 11:51 am

    It’s this sort of irresponsible reporting that Mars™ the reputation of the media in Australia today. The media should give this woman a break. And a Kit-Kat™.

  4. Avatar


    March 12, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I got quite a few Snickers™ out of that article.