Government to ban Diary Of A Wimpy Kid from primary school curriculum

diary of a wimpy kid

Reiterating his belief that ‘we don’t want wimps’, Prime Minister Tony Abbott today advised the heads of the upcoming school curriculum review to scrap the popular Diary of A Wimpy Kid series.

“What we don’t want is weak, lame-ass pansies passing through our school system,” Mr Abbott said today.  “Australia needs strong men and women – but mainly men – who can stand up to the danger posed by people seeking asylum”.

Mr Abbott said the series, which follows the life of Greg Heffley as he struggles through school and family life, was out of touch with the values of most Australian families.

“It sends the wrong message. If we were at war – and I certainly want to give the impression that we are – would you want some awkward sissy-girl in the trenches with you, or would you want someone strong and hard like Scott Morrison?”

The Shovel is Australia’s satire news service. For breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

7 Comments

  1. Eileen Naseby

    February 24, 2014 at 11:30 am

    For about 30 seconds I believed you. WTF does that say about where my head is at the moment

    • Callie Ge

      February 24, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      Eileen, I have read the article this relates too and I thought this was real too until I read the small print and saw the word satire. Problem is I believe TA would say something like that.

  2. ken

    February 24, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    Put boxing back on the curriculum.Cold showers and a good thrashing for the nancy boys.
    Military Cadetship should be compulsory and the school uniform to include a hair shirt,after all it never did me any harm.

    • moje

      February 24, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      Is that you Tony? 🙂

  3. moje

    February 24, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Same! Is it because I wanted him to publicly articulate what I know he really thinks? 🙂

  4. The BBG

    February 25, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    When you write something that is so believable it appears to be social commentary rather than satire. It captures the essence of our “honourable” arse kicking PM.

  5. Ban the ABC

    February 25, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    We all know it is really the fault of Kevin Rudd, Juliar and the anti-Australian organisation ABC that these Wimpy books were allowed into school! Back to the good old days when “Biggles Shoots the Natives” was prescribed reading!