Putin To Re-Enact All 98 Gold Medal-Winning Performances In Closing Ceremony ‘Extravaganza’

In a treat for Winter Olympics fans, Russian President Vladimir Putin will personally re-enact every gold-medal performance from the Sochi games in a specially reconfigured main stadium.

The news was revealed in leaked documents earlier this morning, Sochi time. According to the documents, some events – such as figure skating and curling – will be performed simultaneously, adding an extra wow factor.

putin satireMr Putin, who is good at everything, decided not to compete in the games themselves out of respect for up-and-coming participants. But organisers say he wants to thank fans by putting on a closing show to remember.

Like the flamboyant opening ceremony, which featured an all-male choir dressed as policemen, the closing ceremony will be strictly heterosexual.

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