Jesus Wondering Whether He Should Tell Cory Bernardi About The Whole Joseph Thing

Cory Bernardi satire

Christian figurehead Jesus Christ was today wondering whether he should tell Senator Cory Bernardi about the fact he was brought up by his step-dad, or just let him continue thinking he was raised in a gold standard family unit.

A spokesperson for Jesus said she thought Senator Bernardi might be a little shocked if he was to find out about his hero’s non-traditional upbringing. “Perhaps it’s best if we all just keep this one on the quiet,” she said.

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26 Comments

  1. Gina

    January 10, 2014 at 10:55 am

    He needs to be told! After all, ignorance is not bliss, as some are lead to believe.

  2. Doug & Cheryl

    January 10, 2014 at 11:18 am

    Or the fact he was an IVF baby.

  3. zanpanda

    January 10, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    I think he might have missed the ‘treat thy neighbour as thyself’ bit too….

  4. atheism 101

    January 10, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    And …. if god was a woman then it gets very complicated for this King of all Bigots!

  5. Delia lord

    January 10, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    And Mary was made pregnant without her knowledge and then informed afterwards. Isn’t that rape without your consent? Oxoxox

    • Splodge

      January 10, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Ah, but if it was rape she wouldn’t have conceived.

    • Fr S

      January 11, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      I realise the comment is tongue in cheek
      According to the Scriptural narrative Mary consented Luke 1:38….rather the point of the story!
      It’s easy to make cheap points at the expense of religion…..easy but not very tolerant, enlightened, or even intelligent
      Religion is not as superficial as the lightweight atheist, or indeed the arrogant fundamentalist wants to suggest!

    • Lee Carlton

      January 12, 2014 at 9:27 am

      Delia lord, perhaps is speaking toungue and cheek but her statement concerning the conception of the Christ Child and Mary is totally wrong. Delia needs to read the only source of the event. Jesus was a Jew yes, of the house of David and Semitic stock yes, had a step father, yes, and most likely held a more inclusive view of family than any world views today. The important point is he is the Light which illumines every person who comes into being. He was fully human and divine… as is everyone who is born of the spirit. Mary was informed before the conception and willing consented, “Be it done unto me according to Thy will.” Without her consent, the Christ event would not be as it is. God never raped Mary and God never killed his own son. God did resurrect him and the birth and life of no other person has impacted human history quite as much as Jesus of Nazareth.

  6. l

    January 10, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    perhaps MR Abbott could take him under his wing and use his religious background to assist Mr Bernadi to understand

  7. Tim Bell (@timb07)

    January 10, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    What about the elephant in the room? Jesus was a good little Jewish boy, with his stepfather tracing his lineage directly to King David! So much for the superiority of Christianity in Bernardi’s world view.

    • Ronson Dalby

      January 10, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      Fundies like Corgi Bernardi will never believe that JC was a Jew. He was a Christian, for god’s sake.

  8. wizman

    January 10, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    I don’t really think these people actually read, or have read, their Bible. They just use it to stand on so they can shout from a higher position.

  9. Russell Draper

    January 10, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Actually, there is growing evidence that Jesus was, in fact, of a Mediterranean heritage. Afterall, he lived at home until his thirties, believed his mother to be a virgin, and she thought he was the Son of God.

    • Fed up

      January 10, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      It would be very unlikely he was white or Caucasian.

    • Mark

      January 11, 2014 at 9:52 am

      LOL, Well done Russell

    • Austin

      January 14, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      Hahahaha Russell

  10. Fed up

    January 10, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    What is the traditional family. How long was the nuclear family around for. What about those European countries, where it was the grandparents that reared the child. This was to allow the parent to work.

    What about extended families.

    What is the longest length of time, that children were allowed a childhood. Yes, a modern day phenomena.

    What about all those kids, of the wealthy and powerful, who were reared by nannies and housemaids, before being sent off at a young age to boarding school.

    How many kids, that’s where reared by natural parents over a century ago. Yes, either mother or father dying early, to be raised in a step family.

    I asked once again, what is a traditional family. How long has it been around.

    • Fr S

      January 11, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      I once did a paper about the family for a University Group.
      And I arrived at the conclusion that we use the term ‘traditional family’ very loosely.
      As part of the exercise I traced my parents’ and my siblings’ families. It would appear that only I and my eldest sister (two of 6 children…is 6 children ‘traditional’? ) would appear to conform to the norm.
      My elder sister’s husband deserted her after the birth of her second child, my younger sister was well underway when she married someone outside our Anglo-Saxon (not even Anglo Celtic) cultural group. My youngest sister delayed her wedding while she awaited the birth. Her twin brother is partnered but has no children of his own.
      Both my parents had fathers who suicided and were subsequently brought up by their mothers. One of whom remarried, and that (step) grandfather was the only grandfather I knew.
      My mother was married for 18 months before she was divorced and married my father 10 years later. My ‘normal family’ eldest sister was a child of my mother’s first short marriage…and essentially she was brought up by my grandmother!
      So that leaves me as the bearer of the ‘traditional family’ flag.
      My point in that paper, I reiterate, was that most people would write similar histories.

      What is the traditional family?
      I happen to be a priest of the Anglican Church. I am aware that that fact alone has put the label ‘traditional’ in jeopardy ……no kids should have to put up with being the child of a minister of the Church!
      Just in case it was in doubt….my wife and I separated and then divorced after 31 years of being married. That at least seems traditional!

      Mr Bernardi….may have a narrow view of what ‘traditional’ means …but I suspect most people have a history like mine rather than his narrow definition.

  11. edward eastwood

    January 10, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    You’re quite right Russell Draper – he was Mediterranean! After all, he did say ‘Blessed are the Greek!’

  12. Fr S

    January 11, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Have a look at my comment above to see why I think that we would be hard-pressed to define a ‘traditional family’
    The reality is that, try as we might, things don’t always or ever go as we please.
    “traditional family” is a type of fundamentalism which demands that complex situations be described not in simple but rather simplistic terms.
    Wouldn’t it be nice if everything was cut and dried, and black and white…well probably not…it would be rather boring and unreal.
    Like all fundamentalisms it ends up being a ‘big stick’ to beat people up with.

  13. J Hannaford

    January 13, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Does it come down to who makes the observations and their context?
    “We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of schools and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioural problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.” – President Barack Obama, Father’s Day speech, 2008.

    • zanpanda

      January 13, 2014 at 4:54 pm

      Firstly, this is really only comparing hetero couples to single mother families – where of course there is going to be more poverty because the capacity to earn money is significantly reduced.
      Secondly, how does quoting unreferenced ‘statistics’ from Obama help anyone? There has always and will always be single parent families – how about we do our best to support them, so the children of these families do not become ‘statistics’?!

    • Fr S

      January 14, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Dear (John?)
      There is a lot of politics in all this. If politicians are so concerned about children having no fathers then perhaps they should:
      a) Stop sending their fathers off to be killed
      b) Stop killing the fathers of children through the process of war

      St

    • Fr S

      January 14, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      See my posts above, also, about the fact that there is no such thing as a traditional family. Virtually all families have to deal with being outside some mythical norm. We shouldn’t be making difference a crime.

      Both my parents had fathers who suicided. Far from enhancing their lives “having a father” actually devastated their whole family. And, I believe, their descendants.
      Given that many social disorders, like suicide, but also alcoholism, physical violence, and sexual and psychological abuse are apparently perpetuated by men in ‘traditional’ families we should be careful before we routinely glorify “traditional” fathers.

  14. Fed up

    January 13, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Yes, all those stats could be correct. The question remains, is it the fact that they only have mum raising them the cause.

    Most s9ngle families, begin as a loving relationship, in the past, nearly always within a marriage.

    The same goes for women who found they had no choice but to abort. It is a falsehood, that the majority were silly adolescent girls.

    Now, after thirteen year as in a v9iolent marriage, I found I had big problems with my four kids, as a single parent.

    The trouble is, the cause was the fact that I stayed in that violent marriage so long, where my eldest was sexually abused, and pregnant by her stepfather, which he considered as his daughter from the time she was a tiny baby..

    Yes, thirteen years living with a violent father does untold harm, that seems to last a lifetime.

    Nothing to do with being a single mother. Separation did not5 mean the abuse ceased. No mind games were played with these kids, well into adulthood.

    Things are not always, as they seem.

    The problems were not decreasing by the type of family or relationship. They were caused by a father, that had big problems, and a mother too stupid to see the harm being done, and move out only when a crisis occurred.

    I married this man, thinking I was doing the right thing for my eldest. Yes, I allowed myself to believe a father was essential.

    I would have big problems, working out which of my children were the worst affected.

    Yes, this man did love his children. Just could not avoid abusing them.

    It is not the type of family that matters. It is whether children have parents, that love and care for them.

  15. Annette Elliot

    January 14, 2014 at 11:40 am

    I guarantee Corgi Bernardi will never need an abortion

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