ABC Comes Clean: “Mr Squiggle Was A Puppet”

mr squiggle satire

Just days after journalist Piers Akerman exposed ABC cartoon character Peppa Pig as a left-wing feminist mouthpiece, the Australian national broadcaster has conceded that iconic children’s television star Mr Squiggle was nothing more than a puppet.

The confession comes after months of speculation, with some insiders saying it had been an open secret in the industry for years that the ABC was pulling the strings.

This morning ABC Managing Director Mark Scott said it was time to tell the truth about Mr Squiggle. “He was under ABC control from the start; Mr Squiggle did what we told him to do. He was the face, but there were people above him controlling every single move,” Mr Scott said.

Columnist Andrew Bolt added fuel to the fire late today by suggesting Mr Squiggle’s co-star – Blackboard – had chosen to identify as black purely for political and career-development reasons.

Blackboard angrily denied the allegations, saying they had the potential to turn his life upside down. Mr Squiggle was unavailable for comment.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

15 Comments

  1. edward eastwood

    December 15, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Rofalmao Shovel, and keep ’em coming! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 😉

  2. Gary bennell

    December 15, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    The Federal Minister, Eric Abetz, on the BOLT REPORT this morning, revealed that Mr Sqiggle was suspected of working for the shadowy, secretive, Indonesian, WAYANG SOCIETY

    • Greg

      December 16, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      I always suspected…..

  3. Andrew

    December 15, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    OMG Mr Squiggle was a Puppet!!!!!!!!!!! all my childhood memories are now shattered.. Thanks ABC…. and don’t tell me Bill the steam shovel wasn’t real…… and Blackboards don’t talk and tell you to hurry up ?………. (assumes fetal position and cries)……………….

    • Arn Jewell

      December 16, 2013 at 7:25 pm

      Ha, ha, ha Andrew rofl

  4. Word Journeyer

    December 15, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    I reckon the whole “upside down” thing was revolutionary propaganda.

  5. Alphonse

    December 15, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Piers has point. The ABC should show some balance, particularly for preschoolers in their formative years. Chuck Norris, Bruce Williston and John Wayne movies, and old TV series like Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best would be suitable.

  6. Brooks

    December 16, 2013 at 8:29 am

    yeah, more Bruce Williston movies for everyone I reckon…

  7. Greg

    December 16, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    Can’t be long now before safari suits are back in…….

  8. Anthony

    December 16, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    Next they’ll be revealing Tony Jones is a puppet. Or is an announcement unnecessary in that instance?

  9. PrussianBlueDay

    December 16, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    Mr Squiggle my childhood hero thanks ABC can you can pull some strings and “hurry up, hurry up” putting him back air or at the very least flog me a Mr Squiggle app?

  10. Peter Russo

    December 17, 2013 at 4:27 am

    And I always thought he was just a pencil…

  11. Maurice

    December 17, 2013 at 8:23 am

    It is very clear now what the coded messages in statements such “Can you see what it is?” and the curious predeliction Mr Squiggle has for drawing elephants…. I cannot believe I was so blind, for so many years. The truth was staring us in the face for so long and we refused to take any heed. :-p

  12. The Gabster

    December 17, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    Just another puppet on a string……

  13. Chris

    March 12, 2014 at 8:35 am

    The rocket was real, right? RIGHT?