Man Forced To Watch Concert With His Own Eyes

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

A thirty-eight year old man from Brisbane was left with no alternative but to watch an entire concert with his eyes, after he mistakenly left his phone at home.

“I was pretty gutted when I realised what I’d done. It’s not every day that you get to look at a video on your phone,” Christian Howard, of Holland Park said. Despite being phoneless, Mr Howard decided to stay on at the concert anyway.

“My mates thought I was crazy. It was pretty weird, I must admit. I had no idea what to do with my hands. And everything seemed really large and vivid. It was almost as if I was actually there”.

Mr Howard said he rushed home after the concert to watch a low-grade recording of the concert on YouTube. “At least I feel like I’ve got my money’s worth now,” he said.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

140 Comments

  1. edward eastwood

    December 9, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    Ahh, Shovel, you’ve done it again – rofalmao!

  2. Dave

    December 9, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    I was on board until I noted this was a satirical site. Ho hum.

    • journolillianaltman

      December 9, 2013 at 10:35 pm

      Thank you for the extra giggles.

    • Nanna Myrtle

      December 10, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      You clearly, are a genius!

    • Thomas Martin Kaxe

      December 13, 2013 at 10:34 am

      Dave, I’m with you, man.
      I was reading the story, halfway through i was like: “This MUST be a joke… Is this normal for an Australian newspaper? And finally, its said at the buttom that it was satire. So ye… I was almost falling for it. Seemed so crazy.

      But since I don’t live in Australia, then.. Who knows? Could be a normal type of news for australians. :P

      • Chani

        December 14, 2013 at 9:49 pm

        Er of also says, at the top in the banner that it’s satirical…

      • Nicci Rowe

        January 9, 2014 at 4:22 pm

        Thomas Martin Kaxe, sadly, you’re pretty much right there. Australian news is full of crap. The important or serious stories usually get about 2 minutes of air time, while crap about celebrities and stupid tv shows gets at least 45 minutes in the news hour. It’s all basically dedicated to nonsensical bullshit that no one cares about. This story COULD pass as one of our legit news stories.

      • L3nka

        January 11, 2014 at 8:00 pm

        “No news is good news” lol

  3. journolillianaltman

    December 9, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    This is made even funnier by the fact that I was at the Bon Jovi concert last night and the girl in front of me recorded nearly every single song. When she got bored of doing that she got her friends to do it who clearly looked like they didn’t want to be there.

    • Alastair Gilfillan

      December 10, 2013 at 6:54 am

      I trust it was so bad that you or any fan. that couldn’t be there won’t want to watch her recording online… ;-)

      • journolillianaltman

        December 10, 2013 at 7:24 am

        :) The recordings won’t be so great because she kept screaming ear-splittingly! haha

      • Arthur Fuxake

        December 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm

        In pain, I would imagine. Bon Jovi.. Ugh…

    • jack

      December 12, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Who in their right mind would want to be at a Bon jovi concert? Soft rock torture like dieing and going to hell.

      • sndr

        December 12, 2013 at 8:24 am

        hahaha ily

    • soregashihi

      December 13, 2013 at 12:40 am

      That’s Bon Jovi concert, I guess you can only be there to record it with some kind of really good earplugs or something :D

  4. Lynny Mast

    December 9, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    PURE GOLD!!!!!

  5. Ashley James Stevens

    December 10, 2013 at 4:18 am

    So, taking a video recording device into a cinema is punishable by law, because making a recording of that product is considered to be piracy, even if you have the sole intention of retaining it for personal use.
    But, whipping your phone out to make a video in the middle of a concert is fine?
    Are you fucking retarded!?
    There is something so inherently obnoxious about the whole ordeal, and I don’t understand why there isn’t as much animosity towards this action as there is in cinemas, because personally, it does my fucking head in.

    I’ve paid to go and see a show, I stand in the crowd, and I’m confronted with a sea of tiny screens being held up above head height. Fuck off!

    It’s bad enough that we have to share the air with these methane-emitting, sweaty fucking idiots in the first place. Let alone their shit covered arm swinging around in your fucking face, holding up an obnoxious piece of shit phone, like some kind of spastic Steven Spielberg. All for the sole purpose of recording a fucking terrible video that nobody wants to see anyway. Personally, I can’t think of anything much worse than awkwardly sitting somewhere being prompted to watch some bastard with a mobile phone demonstrate the terrible videos he’s recorded. It bores me to tears.

    They know what the band is called, they probably have their records at home.
    If they’re enough of a fan to attend their show, and want to make an ad-hock miniature production of their live performances. Why not just listen to the original songs later if they’re so desperate?
    Instead of attempting to relive a moment they never actually witnessed in the first fucking place, because they were prospectively failing to enjoy a pixilated second hand version of what is right fucking in front of them.

    How many times, upon returning from a show, has someone said to you:

    “You didn’t happen to make a really awful warbly recording of it did you?”
    “I’d really like to see a pixelated silhouette of a crowd of people and an intensely lit stage accompanied by heavily distorted low end audio, that would be great”

    I have taken it upon myself to administer discipline at concerts now. If anyone in front of me obstructs my view, the view I’ve paid for, with their piece of shit phone. I reach out gently, grip their arm with a deliberate air of forcefulness and slowly lower it to their side. I have done this several times in the past and have yet to even be questioned.

    They all know it’s not really acceptable, and there isn’t really a point. They all know that they’re being a fucking stupid cunt when they’re doing it, and that is why nobody will ever question you administration of discipline.

    They might as well just hold up a big neon sign that reads ‘I’m a fucking moron, spit on my back’.

    I mean, it’s bad enough that there seems to be an entire army of people who deem it necessary to take the same picture a dozen times from the one angle they’ve been stood at the whole time. But. at least their ignorance is swift by comparison.

    The main issue I have, is that even the professional photographers fuck off after the first three songs, out of respect for the performers.

    Photographers, who have invested a great deal of money in buying the necessary equipment to take a half decent picture in the unusual lighting conditions. Photographers, who are paid to be there and have honed their skills to make a career from doing so.
    Photographers who have the access to do a good job, and don’t get in anyone else’s way.

    But you ignorant, pathetic, unskilled, uppity, iPad wrangling wankers think that you’re some kind of superstar with your shitty handheld device?
    You pieces of shit!
    Why don’t you all just fuck off and die.

    Leave it to the professionals, that is why they’re there in the first place.
    My phone has an egg-timer on it, that doesn’t make me a fucking chef.

    • Jay

      December 10, 2013 at 7:26 am

      ROFL Ashley, you are a legend and your impassioned rant was an absolute classic. Thumbs up!!

    • Dave

      December 10, 2013 at 8:10 am

      Ashley…. what a comment. I’m hoping you have a website with such equisite writing skills as you have. Send me a link. Thanks.

      • Anthony

        December 11, 2013 at 5:51 pm

        Dave, I’m hoping you do not have a website with such ‘equisite writing skills as you have’. Please, if you do, do not send me a link.

      • Bonny Rowson

        December 12, 2013 at 5:25 am

        HA!! You’re awesome. That is HILARIOUS.

    • karen

      December 10, 2013 at 8:40 am

      Hilarious! And so, so very true! Well done, couldn’t have put it better myself Ashley!

    • Kel

      December 10, 2013 at 8:53 am

      Dear God, what is wrong with you? Live and let live. And before you say I must be one of these people that take said recordings… no I am not. I do however, give no fucks at all about the people that do. My life is not so sad that I have to worry too much about what any body else does. Cheer up misery guts

      • nika

        December 10, 2013 at 10:44 am

        Yeah live and let live, and these Ipad asshole bother other people, so they dont exactly let live…do they? Second if its live and let live let Ashley be free to express is hanger…period

      • Peter

        December 10, 2013 at 1:02 pm

        well fucking put…. “misery guts” alone is a point made.

      • OMGWTFDFW

        December 10, 2013 at 4:55 pm

        The joke was funny, but the venom behind the frustration of asshole ruining a perfectly good show by blocking a view I paid for is very real. Kudos Ashley.

      • Victor

        December 12, 2013 at 1:30 pm

        wait your contradicting yourself by judging her and now im judging you for judging her ahh!

      • Scott

        December 12, 2013 at 10:59 pm

        “My life is not so sad that I have to worry too much about what any body else does”

        Oh the irony

      • Espen

        March 5, 2014 at 12:44 pm

        Try being a short motherfucker when 100s of dipshits with 6 inch smartphones with full brightness gets slapped in your face at your favourite bands show.

    • TheBBG

      December 10, 2013 at 8:56 am

      Auditioning for a job at The Shovel? A fail. Not entertaining. Not satirical Not sarcastic. Try Newscorp that loves a good rant.

    • Gina Elliott Proulx

      December 10, 2013 at 9:01 am

      Switch to decaf…

    • Abbey Abbey

      December 10, 2013 at 9:02 am

      @Ashley: Wow! Amazing comment right there! You clearly made your point! Couldn’t say better than that. Haha. Love it!

    • dev

      December 10, 2013 at 9:03 am

      lmfaoooo calm your titts yo!

    • Tsk Tsk

      December 10, 2013 at 9:05 am

      <– obvi not working in the music industry ;)

    • Rachel Aston

      December 10, 2013 at 9:41 am

      You are my kin, good sir. You said everything I have been saying since the invention of the “smart” phone. I recently went to a show, and told the guy to stop watching through his phone and enjoy the moment. You know the retort he gave me. “I’m recording it for my friend who couldn’t be here.” My reply, “Too fucking bad for your friend, now get that thing out of my line of sight. I drove 6 hours to be here, and didn’t pay to see this through your fucking phone.” He was very good after that. Even though he did again try, and said everyone else was doing it. I said I didn’t care about them, just him still wanting to be an assclown even after he’d been told twice. If I’d had to tell him a third time, I was willing to confiscate his phone until after the show. I’d like to see them banned at shows, period.

    • T de Remblai

      December 10, 2013 at 10:00 am

      Well, I’m an artist and creative developer… and… I’m happy with people filming my work, well yes it’s a bit strange if they do it the whole time long and are looking at that little screen instead of watching it directly… But they have it on tape, showing it to other, facebook, youtube etc. etc. Working for me as great marketing! In stead of saying ow I’ve been to an performance or art progession of [name], they can also give an impression of what it is… Result: more people know my name and what I do, people that my PR maybe didn’t reach with their marketing get to know my work by a friend, more effective than my Marketeers (even they are great tough!!!)

      • mindpower

        December 10, 2013 at 9:20 pm

        But wouldn’t you rather have your own professional DVDs for sale that the audience could buy instead of making their own shitty recordings? That way you get more money and they get a decent recording.

        I mean, if people were recording your show and then selling CDs of it down at the local market you surely wouldn’t find that acceptable so why be okay with people making videos of your concert?

      • Mary

        December 10, 2013 at 10:40 pm

        He told you why he was okay with it… because it’s okay. And good publicity. You all are psycho.

      • Geo

        December 11, 2013 at 11:13 pm

        poor analogy, who records a concert and sells DVDs of it? not the same comparison at all, and he just explained why it’s not just ok, but beneficial

    • Natalia

      December 10, 2013 at 10:28 am

      Ashley, while I’m sure you are a charming person outside of the internet, your post makes you seem angry and disagreeable. I understand that the amount of recording that takes place at concerts is unreasonable, but there is not need to spend all your time at concerts being angry at your fellow music fans. A concert is where a large group of people comes together who all enjoy the same music. Concerts should never be the source of anger or hatred towards others, it should be an enjoyable experience. If you do not enjoy concerts because of the many who chose to record the performance (because let’s face it, technology is just too ingrained in our society to stop) then maybe you should stick to listening to music in a less public setting such as your own home. If I ever go to concert and want to snap a picture or two, I sincerely hope that you are not the person sitting behind me because I would surely give you a piece of my mind.

      • Jo

        December 13, 2013 at 12:15 am

        There is a difference between snapping one picture and recording the whole time…. and the argument of “if you don’t like it, stay at home” is definitly not holding here. It can be turned – “if you don’t want to enjoy the moment of a concert, stay at home and look at it on youtube” – The recording on a phone will be crappy, they know it, still do it and disturb people who want to enjoy the view. I also don’t want to see a sea of screens in front of me at a concert! I am here for the moment, the memories of a show, the ambiance, the feelings.
        I loved going to concerts in the 90’s and 00’s, before the smart phones. Nowadays, I feel people want to live in the future, thinking “it will be great to watch this HQ video of the face of the singer with really super sound that I took 100 m away from the scene with my 8 MP smart phone camera” instead of feeling the music, enjoying the crowd, taking in the moment, and maybe one day forget what song were played but remembering the feeling – which you can not film.

        The thing is, it is like smoking or being loud or being rude, if it disturbs somebody else, you should stop and respect the others around you. And Ashley is not rude, she is gently pulling the arm down, and probably most of the time, the message is received.

      • zbojo

        December 14, 2013 at 11:46 am

        “…smoking or being loud or being rude” or killing a baby lama. Same thing, right? If you don’t want to be around people who smoke, you can just walk away. Just walk. Away.

      • Sevvy

        December 13, 2013 at 7:42 pm

        This isn’t about someone wanting to ‘take a snap or two’, no problem with that. It’s this weird insistence, as Ashley describes, of people never now actually watching and enjoying the live moment but watching through a screen for the entire performance. Stay home, buy a DVD.

    • john

      December 10, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Brilliant

    • DavidW (@davidsyd)

      December 10, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      Legend. I am so over people and their shitty phone screens blocking my view at a show. Its nearly at the point where its just easier to stay home and wait for the DVD.

    • Mike

      December 10, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      So tell me how you really feel . . .

    • G

      December 10, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      As much as I agree with you, some people just want a memory of them being there. I mean, come on, don’t tell me you don’t look back at your photos and be all like, “I remember that, take me back there!” and just keep thinking about it. Sometimes people might also want to show their family/friends who couldn’t be there with them and let them experience what the recorded experienced.

      Sure they can be annoying, but never tell anyone to go die. That’s just absolutely rude.

      • Nick c

        December 12, 2013 at 10:57 pm

        What did we do before we all had video phones and cameras that take video. we watched the concert and sang along and made our own memories

      • Brigtop

        December 13, 2013 at 1:31 am

        I’m not sure an image of the invent is more potent than a detached memory in the form of an image, moving or still. However, ‘Post-modern Legitimation Crisis’ is why they feel obliged to authenticate their experiences through the image. the image itself is now worthless due to the over saturation of the market, but people feel it necessary to prove they were there with the image. it’s been going on since the tourist postcard and clearly manifested itself when the camera became available to most.

    • bloggulator

      December 10, 2013 at 6:39 pm

      omg Ashley… I laughed at that comment even more than the original article…and that made me almost choke on my coffee! Thats one of the most hilarious and timely responses to an article I’ve read in years! Way to go! ROFL!

    • Adam

      December 10, 2013 at 8:21 pm

      Professional photographers are only allowed to take photos for the first 3 songs, which is fucking ridiculous, the best photos come from much later on in the set when the band are nice and sweaty and feeding off the audience. But i enjoyed the rest of your comment ;)

    • Sally-Ann McCarthy

      December 10, 2013 at 8:34 pm

      Jesus Ashley, I’ve read this twice now and I’m still laughing. I came across the link on fb and had to sign up just to give you props for that wicked piece! Hilarious and spot on. More of this!

    • Bobman123

      December 10, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      wow clam down…

    • RahZee

      December 11, 2013 at 12:04 am

      Actually, professional photographers are by contract forced to leave after a short time, although they do have a sense of courtesy towards the artists and viewers (with paid tickets). Your anger doesn’t change anything, even if you’re 100% right…

    • juliodiego

      December 11, 2013 at 12:31 am

      Well said… couldnt be said any better!!!!!

    • maria

      December 11, 2013 at 12:36 am

      I understand were you are coming from but to tell them to die etc. is bringing yourself down to their moronic level and yhat srewed up the whole piece you had taken time to wright down. Such a shame because you have a way with words and then you become a moron as well.

    • Walt K.

      December 11, 2013 at 2:32 am

      Hello this is eggplant. I had the same response as you for a “HORDE” King Crimson show in kansas city a few years back. This crack-head would only yell “RUSTED ROOT” over every crimson song. Use your imagination to my retort!

    • Ruelander

      December 11, 2013 at 3:45 am

      could I ask you: are you angry?

    • E.Sala

      December 11, 2013 at 3:54 am

      Wow bet its REALLY happy to be around you !!!!!!!! Do you find yourself going alone to these concerts etc …… or do you actually have ‘some’ friends that go with you ?!!!!

      Hey ,,,,,,,, maybe go spend some time learning some words that normal everyday people tend to use …… that way you may find yourself be able to describe how you feel on a situation without having to swear and say to people ….. ” F*** and die ” !!!!

      Just an idea Mr.Charming person :)

    • dc

      December 11, 2013 at 6:12 am

      I want to marry you.

    • graham

      December 11, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      Photographers who get to take pix down in front of the stage are only Allowed to take pix for the First 3 songs .while the Performer looks fresh before they are all fired up and sweaty. sadly I find the best shots are often towards the end of a gig when it flows and the feelings are full on.

    • Helen

      December 11, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      Good on you, Ashley- love your work. Original piece wasn’t particularly amusing, but your rant is brilliant.

    • Libby

      December 12, 2013 at 3:28 am

      Charlie Brooker wannabe much?

    • Frank Z

      December 12, 2013 at 6:00 am

      Professional photographers who leave after three songs do so because they are only allowed to shoot those songs.

    • Scott Linklater

      December 12, 2013 at 8:40 am

      Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. ;)

      Post of the YEAR!!!!! Best thing I’ve read in ages. And so on the money it’s not funny! Well done! 10/10

      p.s. If i was running the country I’d give you a special licence to liquidate those spunk bubbles in an effort to stop the eroding of the purity of the gene pool!

    • robin

      December 12, 2013 at 10:55 pm

      Topshit>_<

    • HASH

      December 13, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      The article was a few paragraphs long, and then I saw the scroll bar.
      I was wondering why it was so fucking small.
      Nice comment though haha

    • Ken Eirik Kaspersen

      December 15, 2013 at 10:43 am

      you only have to start a mash pit and your problem is solved!

    • nicosuavehh

      December 25, 2013 at 12:17 am

      hey man, don’t insult either spastics or Steven Spielberg by comparing them with the idiots you are ranting against. Both spastics and Steven Spielberg are far better, thanks.

    • wizardovoz

      May 8, 2014 at 9:18 am

      ROFL. I don’t really care about the issue and it’s great satire but your rant was one of the best I have seen for a while. Great work

  6. Dan Sayer

    December 10, 2013 at 4:51 am

    This was made even funnier by reading that actual human beings still go to fucking Bon Jovi concerts.

    • George

      December 10, 2013 at 7:42 am

      You sir are my hero

    • A

      December 10, 2013 at 9:08 am

      Bon Jovi is the biggest selling concert tour of 2013 in Australia … don’t judge just because you may not like their music, obviously plenty of people still do. If all music were the same, it would be a boring place.

      • Arthur Fuxake

        December 10, 2013 at 12:27 pm

        A bit like a Bon Jovi gig then?

      • Liz Lizardo Carroll

        December 10, 2013 at 12:55 pm

        Fuckin’ right!

        I saw Bon Jovi in 1992 and they put on an awesome show, at least they don’t just stand on stage and just sing at you the whole time..

        Just because you don’t like the music, doesn’t mean they suck. Except for Black Veiled Brides, their music sucks and so do they (if you know what I mean)

      • Steve

        December 10, 2013 at 4:15 pm

        If the members of Black Veil Brides do suck (and I know what you mean), who gives a shit? It’s almost 2014, don’t be a homophobe.
        They do make atrocious music, in my (our?) opinion(s?)

  7. Marthis

    December 10, 2013 at 5:16 am

    That’s so true, I don’t kwnow why that kind of peolpe go to se “live” music… xD

  8. DOUG

    December 10, 2013 at 9:34 am

    AJS. You have hit the nail on the head. I like people that speak their mind.

  9. Arthur in the Garden!

    December 10, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Funny!

  10. Adam Casey

    December 10, 2013 at 10:22 am

  11. Squirrel

    December 10, 2013 at 11:04 am

    Thank you, Shovel. As usual you have hit a rather prominent nail on its head. When I attended a concert earlier this year, I was bemused by the phenomenon of all these people taking photos and videos, but as I was in the 10th row from the front, I didn’t have my view of the great event spoilt. I suggest to AJS, and others similarly affronted by this behaviour, to obtain front row seats for future concerts. Personally, I found the relative lack of screaming wonderful after earlier concerts almost put me off attending for life! Oh, and if you think mobile phones are bad, I saw a few full-size iPads being used to video proceedings. And, no, I didn’t even take one photo, let alone a video of anything.

  12. Niek Mooijaart

    December 10, 2013 at 11:54 am

    Deaf?

  13. musicman

    December 10, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Spoken like a true bonehead. “Please don’t get angry at me for spoilng your enjoyment. I might have to give a a piece of my mind!” You are going to a concert, not a photo shoot and infringing on the other paying patrons rights but.you really don’t care do you?

  14. lamberto

    December 10, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Louis CK already did this bit.

  15. Av Helvete

    December 10, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    If im at a concert i will just record one song. If by any chance some fuckwit like Ashley, grabs my arm and fucks up the one song im recording, it will be the last arm he grabs, coz he will get the fright of his life and get taught a lesson not to fuck with people!

    • Matt Brown

      December 11, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      Or you know, you could watch the fucking show and not record it on a shitty device that won’t even capture the sound.

    • bloggulator

      December 13, 2013 at 5:26 am

      “If im at a concert i will just record one song”.

      Did you ask the people who are standing behind you if they minded having their view being blocked by your phone or ipad for one song? Redundant question, I am sure. After all, they did pay their hard-earned money for their tickets to see the SHOW, not a crappy low-resolution image of it on someone else’s hand-held device.

      Or is being considerate perceived as a sign of weakness?

  16. flyinhaggis

    December 10, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    “Whooo ohhhh livin on a prayer” …. You all know the chorus an the big frizzy hair will live forever , I like yellow passion fruit , its true they are sweeter than purple wans ;)

  17. Front Row Dave

    December 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    WOW! I absolutely LOVE this post……I AM a videographer…..large events I do for fun and have filmed over three hundred shows in total…..some of your comments made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts….

    I will say that I do NOT hold my cam up in front of other people for any length of time…possibly for a few seconds on occasion but I always respect their right to their view….as well as mine from the guy in front of me also videoing….

    I have had a few people gently grab my arm…not a problem…just don’t grab it and yank it…then there will be a problem….the three song rule for professional photographers…yup…i’ve had press passes as well….both for three songs and also video passes for entire shows on occasion…..

    So many people who do take videos never post them because once they get home they realize just how bad they are……I have some crappy ones as well from my beginnings but have now invested in a high end camcorder and things are getting better all the time :)

    On my end….I do what I do to bring the shows to people who can’t see them…due to whatever reason, finance, location, health, timing….doesn’t matter why…..if someone cannot see the 2013 XXX tour, then I hope to be able to capture so that they can one day see it on YouTube….cuz that’s what I do….I have never been paid to film large shows like that and I have never sold my original footage, regardless of how many times I’ve been asked to…..for this is what we do….we travel to shows, pay extra money for good seats, buy expensive gear…..all to….sometimes get ejected two songs into the concert and not be allowed back in….all so that others can view the show….

    As awesome as your post is…..and so very VERY true in so many ways there are a select few of us who do it for good reasons….and try our best to be unobtrusive…so that others may enjoy….

    Rock On Ashley!!!

  18. bloggulator

    December 10, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Now that is Truly.Hilarious. ROFLMFAO! Love it!

  19. Joe Soap

    December 10, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    Hey…let’s not forget about all those douchnozzles who rock up at festivals with flags…. Jesus wept.

    • Dean

      December 10, 2013 at 10:54 pm

      at least the Filmer remembered his phone. would have been much worse staring at those flags through the naked eye

    • Scuba Joe Mc Plokey Kone

      December 11, 2013 at 1:18 am

      Oh man I didn’t even know about these flag wankers…This is awful! and to all the fools in these comments saying ‘live and let live’…well u can’t if someone elbow is in your face holding up a phone…so you’re missing the point entirely.

  20. Julian Petkov

    December 10, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    That would be right. :D What sort of person would waste money on a concert, anyway… If wanted to get infused with engineered, behavioural patterns via stealth, I’d watch TV. It cost nothing and it is pretty much the same patronising crap, peddled by sanctimonious, self-important “agents of change” – servants of the Oligarchy.

  21. Cristy

    December 10, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    Hahaha classic reply Ashley! Yes funnier and way more colorful than the original post!

  22. thekikaymountaineer

    December 10, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    Hahaha! So funny and brilliant! Was guilty of this last Sunday while watching a concert, got tired of taking photos and recording videos from afar so I just watched with my eyes. Then realized, hey, what’s the point of watching it live anyway? Good decision. Lol

  23. toniojimego

    December 10, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    What is really funny is that picture in illustration is a concert by the band Jane’s Addiction in association with LG Mobile, indeed it was in July 2011 and they had decided to provide maximum spectators with mobile phone capable of filming in 3D … So more people filming this concert than “usual” !

    http://www.lg.com/us/press-release/janes-addiction-and-lg-mobile-thrill-attendees-and-youtube-viewers-with-worlds-first-3d-user-generat

    the result : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smEEneL_VoI

  24. Dean

    December 10, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    the poor guy! must have been absolutely gutted he had to focus with his own eyes. must have felt naked

  25. Dolly

    December 10, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    I just think people filming are missing the whole experience of a live concert. No-one will ever want to watch it and I find people holding up cameras, phones etc a total bummer. I think it should be banned – alcohol is fine – but please no filming please jerks! You could buy the DVD of the concert for a fraction of the ticket – stay home and do some selfies.

  26. Kay Over

    December 10, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    he use google glass

  27. Stan

    December 11, 2013 at 1:15 am

    Hyper realism. Google it.

  28. Sunny

    December 11, 2013 at 1:59 am

    They spelled realized wrong, I know unimportant but you would think adults who make a living writing articles would know how to spell or at least use spell check.

    • The Shovel

      December 11, 2013 at 9:06 am

      We’ve also been known to spell ‘colour’, ‘centre’, even ‘humour’ incorrectly. We apologise. I mean, apologize.

      • Squirrel

        December 11, 2013 at 10:45 am

        Thank you, Shovel, for standing up for Australian spelling, and in such a humorous way. Sunny, in Australian English, as in British English, it is possible to use either -ise or -ize in the many verbs with that ending. In American English, the standard spelling is with -ize. Unfortunately, spell checker programs are usually American.

  29. anton

    December 11, 2013 at 1:59 am

    You guys really need to remove the satire disclaimer ;)

  30. Lara

    December 11, 2013 at 2:11 am

    am I missing something, I have NEVER brought a phone with me to concert ! the whole point is to experience the show not through a small screen get a life !

    • Jax

      December 11, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Wow, just wow.

      • HASH

        December 13, 2013 at 4:44 pm

        you like sons of anarchy

  31. Martijn.

    December 11, 2013 at 3:40 am

    Depeche mode made a dvd with also footage senden in by fans.
    However you have a good point and Ahsley does a briljant job with her rant over it.
    I have tried it myself once to record a song but it is terrible so i doe take a few pictures and then just concentrate on the show and let yourself be taken away with the artist you paid for to see.
    We should go back to the lighter days instead of phone/tablet screens Way better!

  32. analuluiza313

    December 11, 2013 at 8:27 am

    It would be funnier if it was not sad… I feel depressed to see that it actually happens at every concert nowadays

  33. jon

    December 11, 2013 at 8:50 am

    I was at a Scissor Sisters gig a couple of years ago, and Ana Matronic took a few moments to ask the audience to put their phones away and engage in the show. Prince is another artist who bans pictures at his shows. People taking the odd snap on a phone doesn’t bother me too much, but the idiots who hold up 9 inch tablets are a pain.

  34. Izy

    December 11, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    This doesn’t happen at punk shows, it would get knocked out of your hand and you’d be trampled in the pit ! Haha

  35. boiik

    December 11, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    Dear writer of all that blatant rubbish, you must be a really sad person

  36. Marko

    December 11, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    Saw Bruno Mars earlier this year; after 2 songs he applauded the audience, said how nice it was to travel so far to perform for them (gig was in Dubai) and then told everyone to put down their phones and “get into the gig”…. I clapped and cheered for ten minutes :-) When the ARTIST starts telling people to sort their shit out, you know this thing has got outta hand!!

  37. Avviatura

    December 12, 2013 at 2:25 am

    My name is Giovanni. Giovanni Pala. In italian Pala is Shovel.
    Ok. You got it! G’day!

  38. hossainx

    December 12, 2013 at 2:55 am

    why why why … GOD why this people come to concerts

  39. shemagh

    December 12, 2013 at 7:21 am

    I have to admit it…it causes mme a several laughing

  40. Pingback: For funny emails/jokes/vids/pics - that dont deserve their own thread - Page 640

  41. Pedro Vieira

    December 13, 2013 at 2:29 am

    I was having a bad day. Thanks for making me laugh.

  42. Didi

    December 13, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    You made my morning. Thank you :)

  43. Karl

    December 13, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Satirical, but the article describes very well what lots of people nowadays are stuck to: their phone/ipad/… instead of enjoying the real stuff, they prefer to look at it on their phone/.. sadly, they don’t seem to get that’s weird, it’s like an alcoholic who will not admit that he is really addicted…
    Thanks for this little eye-opener :-)

  44. fitegoblog

    December 14, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    ha! brilliant! :D

  45. unconventional

    December 20, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Ashley, you should be commended for your courage in finally saying something about this disgraceful phenomenon that is: idiots going to see live music to watch it through tiny screens.

    The reasons musicians release DVD’s or their own YouTube recordings is so that people who want watch them through a tiny screen can do just that, watch them through a tiny screen.

    The reason musicians tour the world, appearing in the flesh, is so that their fans can watch them PERFORM IN THE FLESH.

    This has spiralled out of control. No problems with taking a photo or two, but once you’re done, put the phone away.

    There are so many musicians now that are requesting the audience to put their phones away and it is embarrassing and really sad that people have such a stunned look on their face not knowing what to do or where to look. I would have thought it would be obvious, but apparently not.

    I hope I can one day witness your disciplinary act one day, if only to provide me with the courage to do it myself.

    I think the people who turn up wanting to record a performance should be sent back to primary school to be taught the difference between the words LIVE and RECORDED actually mean and what their ultimate purpose in context to watching musicians perform is. Maybe then they will realise they can watch musicians on YouTube and save their money and stay home.

    Thank you Ashley for starting this part of the debate and thank you ‘The Shovel’ for exposing this painful reality.

  46. KARINA

    December 21, 2013 at 2:50 am

    John Howard and the little bald man who,s mouth is bigger than he is, do i need to say his name, Queensland should be enough, spill nothing but dribble and Sh__, hang on after even thinking about them l have to rush to the toilet, bye.

  47. journolillianaltman

    January 5, 2014 at 2:24 am

    I will admit though that I take photos at concerts for 2 reasons:
    1. I review most of the shows I go to so I like to have the visual aspect for my readers. I believe a review is always made better when you have the visuals to show your readers what you’re talking about.
    2. As a memory and reminder of an event I had so much fun attending.
    I’ve stopped bothering taking videos though as the sound quality is always horrible.

  48. robertm2000

    January 8, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    I don’t have a cell phone, and I don’t go to concerts. NYYYAAAAHHH!!!

  49. foxtrot oscar

    January 15, 2014 at 12:08 am

    search youtube for the coolhandluque site and you will see that gig recordings can be HD with excellent audio, with better atmosphere than any dvd cos it’s shot from the crowd. the zoom on a digicam allows you to see the band bigger than your naked eye. 4.5million views…so nobody watches them?!

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