Man With 40 Aliases Found Wandering, Confused, Along Canberra Street

Kevin Rudd satire

A man who was found wandering dazed, confused and highly agitated in the Parliamentary district of Canberra has been identified as Australian citizen Kevin Michael Rudd.

It is believed the man – who in the past has used up to 40 different aliases including KRudd, Kevin07, Dr Death, Kevin 24/7 and The Messiah – was a former Prime Minister of Australia.

Authorities were first alerted two months ago after locals saw a man weeping uncontrollably on the footsteps of Parliament House, pleading to be let into the Prime Ministerial office “just one last time”.

Police, who initially thought the man to be aged only 14 or 15, were unable to identify the man. But following the release of several thousand selfies, some members of the public tentatively came forward.

It is believed the man is refusing to go back to his home town of Brisbane.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter

9 Comments

  1. edward eastwood

    November 7, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Love it! Also breaking news; Federal Police are baffled by the disappearance of Australia’s PM, Tony Abbott. After hogging the media spotlight for months before the election, Mr. Abbott seems to have vanished from the spotlight and the public are urged to be on the lookout for a man wearing a surf-lifesavers cap and unable to speak a complete sentence.

    • Andrea Julie Moore

      November 7, 2013 at 10:40 pm

      Oh yes… I have been bemused as to why there were so few umms, errs, ahhhs and well a well a well a’s being reported of late. The saucepans and wooden spoons, the cymbals and clanging bells have been stored in the cupboard for now.

  2. Ed @ The Tunnel

    November 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    Hang in there, Kevin (or whoever you are). The people of Brisbane are organising a petitition to not let you come back anyway!

    • Darryl Herbert

      November 7, 2013 at 5:44 pm

      i like my comment more but yours is flash …

  3. Darryl Herbert

    November 7, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    send him to naru .that would be the right thing to do …

    giggle …

    • Captain Spellcheck!

      November 7, 2013 at 6:59 pm

      Nauru!

  4. Cam Gilmour

    November 7, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    fuck I love this site. Please don’t ever stop.

  5. journolillianaltman

    November 8, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks for the constant chuckles while reading your pieces