Clive Palmer Announces Plans To Build A Parallel Universe Where People Take Him Seriously

Mining billionaire and aspiring politician Clive Palmer today revealed plans for his most ambitious building project yet. Dubbed “The Universe II” the bold venture will recreate the universe in its entirety.

The replica universe will look largely the same as the original, except its inhabitants will take everything Clive says at face value.

An exclusive VIP area on Neptune and a dinosaur-themed family fun park on Saturn’s rings are just some of the attractions patrons can look forward to.

Mr Palmer labelled a joint operation between the CIA and Chinese spies to thwart the project as “jealousy, plain and simple”.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter

12 Comments

  1. Mike

    September 16, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Wicked (:
    and he liked Saturn so he put a ring on it!

  2. Denise Ryan (@Steepstyle)

    September 16, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    Looking at the election results, it appears we are already in Clive’s alternate reality.

  3. rvbm

    September 17, 2013 at 6:35 am

    Reblogged this on The Alternative Zeitgeist and commented:
    Clive Palmer though is not the worse on offer. Not by a mile.

  4. Squirrel

    September 17, 2013 at 10:06 am

    At least Clive can always be guaranteed to give satirists great raw material. If he does win the seat of Fairfax, I’m sure he will provide much amusement in Parliament, and at least he isn’t a lawyer or unionist, so that makes a change.

  5. Purdy

    September 17, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Yes, well he and Gina plus Murdoch, should join together and take over the whole of Australia. Then, they can pay low wages, take us back 60 years, and tell you that everything’s alright. Now, that’s a real parallel universe

    • Squirrel

      September 17, 2013 at 3:07 pm

      No, that’s a nightmare!

  6. tagle

    September 18, 2013 at 12:42 am

    Reblogged this on It's Tagle. and commented:
    Ahh, politics hijacked by weirdos.

  7. Wilhelmina Kramer

    September 19, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    Clive Palmer is truly concerned about Australia. He – at least – is his own man, meaning, that his project reflects his own ideas. He speaks his mind and is not afraid to express his opinions. He cannot be bought. He has made his own fortune; he has paid for his own campaign and all that is more than can be said for most men. I do like many of his policies.

  8. Le Merle Noir

    September 24, 2013 at 2:58 pm

  9. Dr.Wom Bhatt

    September 26, 2013 at 10:31 am

    If so, Mr. Palmer can truly be said to have a PUS ( Parallel Universe Syndrome ) infection.

  10. eric lindblom

    June 3, 2014 at 9:38 pm

    I thought to become a parliamentarian you had to be certified being sane. Clive, a big F

  11. DP

    June 4, 2014 at 11:30 am

    You forgot where his think tanks are going to be held… On Uranus!