Queenslanders Urged To Leave Immediately

Kevin Rudd satire

Australian families living in Queensland have been told to leave the state as soon as possible, after credible reports were received that they may be subject to an attack of unprecedented levels of smarmy, Australiana bullshit.

A spokesperson for ASIO said they had intercepted “very high levels of chatter and folksy banter” that led intelligence analysts to believe an attack was imminent.

Officials at ASIO told potential victims that the attackers may say they are just humble Queenslanders here to help, but warned they may not be as fair dinkum as they look. “If their egos explode, it could wipe out most of Brisbane”.

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  1. uloola

    August 9, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    The country of Islam is offering asylum to the poor people of Queensland.They are being encouraged to flee to the coast and contact one of their representatives who will arrange a passage on a boat.

    • What a laff

      August 9, 2013 at 10:44 pm

      Don’t vote for that One Nation dingbat then. She might stop the boats.

  2. Paul

    August 9, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    He’s started the bullshit already. On tonight’s TV ads he’s saying he grew up in Country Queensland.. Yer right! Since when has Nambour..an hour north of Brisbane been the outback! What next, he saves little old ladies from Crocs on in the supermarket?

  3. Mary Bailey

    August 10, 2013 at 12:14 am

    he could save me from a Crock by going back into retirement

  4. cartoonmick

    August 10, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    Very wise advice. Queenslanders should get out while they can. By plane, train, car, bicycle or boat (ah,,, urr,,,, umm,,,, no,,, stop the boat).

    Having fled this potential disaster, they should now check to be sure they’re not in the vicinity of a man wearing a red budgie smuggler, and squawking “NO, NO, NO”.

    If they are, then they should flee back to the relative safety of Queensland.

    The dinosaurs don’t know how lucky they were.




  5. Gary Smith

    August 17, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Is Tony going to stop the boats leaving the country and send us to become Papua-New Guineans

  6. Mr Pseudonym

    December 29, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Why is there a pic of Labour leaders when it’s the LNP that’s threatening QLD with the bullshit storm?

  7. kgb16

    January 1, 2014 at 11:35 pm

    For really true grand scale bullshit you have to go to the LNP! No one can bullshit and spin like the Federal and State LNP pollies!