Forget any plans you had for a productive day. Google already knows that you’ll spend the best part of the afternoon sifting through old emails, searching “cat falls off table” on YouTube and checking the cost of flights to Thailand.
According to a new algorithm developed by the world’s most popular search engine, you’re pathetic and lazy. Despite your very best intentions, you’ll start to waiver around 11:30am with a quick check of Facebook, pass off an extended browse through an online clothing store as ‘part of your lunch break’, before losing any remaining respect for your work commitments at around 3:46pm.
And as Adelaide accountant Jane Reuben realised last Friday, there’s no point trying to deny you’re a skiving waste of space. “Last Friday when I typed ‘latest accounting research papers’ into Google, it returned with ‘Did you mean photos of your ex-boyfriend?’ Uncanny.”