Rupert Murdoch Updates His Online Dating Profile

Rupert Murdoch satire

Newly single and with a spring in his step, media mogul Rupert Murdoch was back on the prowl this morning, with a brand new profile on dating site eHarmony.

In the profile, Mr Murdoch describes himself as a ‘regular guy’ with simple interests. “On the weekends I generally just pop out to buy a paper,” he says.

Under the ‘Interests’ section, Murdoch lists “Herald & Weekly Times, The Times (London), Fox News Network, Wall Street Journal … see attachment for full list”.

He lists his hobbies as “watching TV, sailing, marriages and trying to determine the outcome of elections”.

At the bottom of the profile, Mr Murdoch asks interested parties to “just leave a message on your own voicemail and I’ll make sure I listen to it”.

The profile also stipulates that the successful candidate will get the first five conversations with Rupert free of charge each month. After that she will need to pay a monthly fee for unlimited access.

Mr Murdoch insists the photo he used in the profile was taken “just last year”.

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9 Comments

  1. The Tunnel

    June 14, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    Such a pity that Vladimir Putin has just remarried.

  2. Geoff Acton

    June 14, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    The Tunnel – your comment is classic. Made me laugh more than the 2 posts. Or perhaps tomorrow’s “jaw dropping” news will feature both of them?

  3. Marg Ludowyk

    June 14, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    What a catch!

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  5. mludowyk

    June 15, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    What a catch

  6. uloola

    June 20, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    The Dirty Digger has announced he is planning to marry his dog,this is to ensure that at his next appearance at a media inquiry any pie throwers will be torn limb from limb.Any prenuptial agreement will only have to include a packet of doggy treats as compensation for marrying the wizened old prune.Any offspring from the union are expected to sign a confidentiality agreement to ensure that no lurid pictures of the act of union appear in rival publications.

  7. Pingback: Rupert Murdoch Divorce Settlement: Wendi To Get Kids, Australia | The Shovel

  8. evan

    December 11, 2013 at 1:45 am

    At the bottom of the profile, Mr Murdoch asks interested parties to “just leave a message on your own voicemail and I’ll make sure I listen to it”.

    hah!

  9. Bill Kell

    December 28, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    Short & to the point : DROP DEAD.