Bear Grylls Survives An Entire Afternoon With Kate Middleton

Bear Grylls Kate Middleton

British adventurer and TV star Bear Grylls had to use his most advanced survival skills yesterday when he was forced to endure several gruelling hours with some of the most boring people in the world.

Armed with nothing more than a polite smile and an entertaining anecdote about the time he slept in a camel carcass, Grylls successfully navigated his way through inane small talk with Kate Middleton and other royals for the best part of an afternoon.

Grylls described the conversation – which revolved mainly around ‘bubsy wubsy’ and ‘Mummy’s party supplies business’ – as “excruciating”.

“I once hydrated myself by sticking a tube of watered-down bird faeces into my anus. Today was more painful”.

Want more satire? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

3 Comments

  1. Alexandra

    April 22, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    They’re both awful.

  2. Christopher

    April 23, 2013 at 7:19 am

    Would prefer an afternoon with Kate any day.

  3. KazD

    January 3, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    At least Bear looks good in a Scout uniform.