12 Dead, Scores Injured As Gay Couple Marry In California

gay marriage satire

America’s worst fears became reality today when a gay couple tied the knot in the Californian capital of Sacramento, killing at least twelve people.

It is believed the couple spontaneously exploded at the conclusion of their private ceremony, causing surrounding buildings to burst into flames.

The tragedy comes as the US Supreme Court deliberates over whether same-sex marriage should be allowed.

Billy Teague, who has been campaigning against gay marriage outside the court since Tuesday, said it was an accident waiting to happen. “This is what we’ve been saying would happen all along. This is a calamity. More people are going to die. This is just the start of it”.

And things could get much, much worse. Sources say God has got wind of the marriage and is on his way down to ‘sort things out’.

The Australian Liberal and Labor parties released a joint statement saying Australians had no need for concern.

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  1. Tim Vollmer

    March 28, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    “Labour” party? Really? Even satire needs a spell check!

    • The Shovel

      March 28, 2013 at 1:40 pm

      Thanks Tim. Harold, our editor, has been asked to take the rest of the day off. He says, in his defence, the ALP looks like a lot of hard work at the moment.

    • pico

      March 28, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      • The Shovel

        March 28, 2013 at 1:51 pm

        It was originally “Labour”, changed to “Labor”.

  2. Erin Duffy

    March 28, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    The only thing missing from the Labor party is “u” Tim.

    • Tim Vollmer

      March 28, 2013 at 2:26 pm

      Love it. Of course the other thing missing from the Labor Party is voters…

  3. Deb Lowan

    May 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Woot! Love this piece.

  4. Isobel

    July 19, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    Well…what a shock. Is this what happens when someone has a baby out of wedlock to? 😀