Christopher Hitchens’ ghost too embarrassed to admit he was wrong about the afterlife

The ghost of outspoken writer and atheist Christopher Hitchens was yesterday seen hiding behind a thicket of trees in his old hometown of Houston, struggling to come to terms with the fact that he was wrong about the afterlife.

Hitchens, who died of cancer in December last year, was a strident critic of religion and the concept of the afterlife, once saying “Do I fear death? No, I am not afraid of being dead because there’s nothing to be afraid of, I won’t know it”.

christopher hitchens

Hitchens in his pre-ghost days

But it would appear he is now only too aware of the fact that he is dead. One Houston local says she clearly heard Hitchens’ ghost utter the word “bugger” as he floated down to earth for the first time. The ghost now spends his time in hiding, trying to nut out a logical explanation for his new reality.

Just last week he was apparently seen wearing a fake moustache and glasses as he scurried between an abandoned building and a deserted alleyway. But locals weren’t fooled. “We weren’t fooled” said Texas resident Jolene Rogers.

Another resident, Jeremiah Johnson, said it was strange that the disbelieving Hitchens had been returned to Texas rather than being sent to Hell. “God works in mysterious ways” he reasoned.

It is not clear how long Hitchens will have to endure the humiliation of being wrong, although some experts say it could be forever.

1 Comment

  1. Cly Johnston

    September 4, 2013 at 10:57 am

    RIP Hitch!

    …and rofl