Any doubts about Vladimir Putin’s suitability for Russia’s top job were quelled this morning when the former KGB operative turned political leader, ate a vicious and under-fed Rottweiler while it was still alive.
The culinary feat was even more remarkable given Putin was driving a Formula One car at the time.
Photographs of the event, which Putin took himself, made the front page of all of Russia’s dailies. Thousands of Russians took to the streets in an orderly fashion to celebrate their leader’s strength and manliness.
Natasha Avdeyev, a shopkeeper from Moscow, summed up the mood of the crowd saying “He really is good at everything!”
But Putin himself seemed to be surprised at the reaction to the accomplishment, saying “It’s nothing really. It was only a bred-for-fighting dog, not a tiger or a shark. Although, seeing as you mentioned it, I did eat a shark once while free-diving for ancient treasures off the Russian coast”.
Anti Putin activists were not available for comment.